LEMONADE :: ZAYN

emptiness

She sleeps all day, dreams of you in both worlds...Grief, sedated by orgasm. Orgasm heightened by grief. God was in the room when the man said to the woman, "I love you so much, wrap your legs around me and pull me in, pull me in, pull me in."

Sometimes when he'd have her nipple in his mouth, she'd whisper "Oh my God." That too is a form of worship. Her hips grind. Pestle and water, cinnamon and gloves.

Whenever he pulls out, lost.

Dear moon we blame you for floods, for the flush of blood.

For men who are also wolves.

We blame you for the night, for the dark, for the ghosts.

°°°

She owned a business just like he did.

So to say she was financially stable was a slight understatement. She didn't need Zayn's money when it came to their separation.

The only thing was, she worked ten times harder when he was gone.

Whether it was out of stress, or pure anger, Gizelle basically lived at her office all day, almost everyday. Amal always tagged along, charming the patients and playing with the many flowers in the office.

She was a veterinarian, and oftentimes brought her own dog just like today. Anything to keep Amal from asking what was wrong. She was only but so young, but inquisitive beyond her years.

For the past five days, Gizelle felt...empty. Empty as in, she didn't know how to feel anymore and since she didn't know she didn't bother to hide it. Something about the way she was feeling actually affected a lot of the animals in the clinic. Her unusually excited dog -- Bryson -- didn't really go near her and when he did, he hesitated. The cats wouldn't leave her alone, though, they kept rubbing against her legs or purring just to get her attention. Although, things like that made her feel better, she still felt empty.

She was confused a lot these days, wondering what Zayn was doing and was he really keeping his promise by leaving her alone to clear her mind? And if he was, why?

Because she said so?

"Mommy, mommy, mommy," Amal chanted beside her. She was so cute, making Gizelle smile for the first time today.

"Yes, babe?"

"Where's Baba? Wanna play wif him."

"He's coming in a little bit, okay?" It hurt sometimes to tell her certain things knowing there was a possibility that it was going to be like this for a long time.

"Okey dokey," she kissed her mother's cheek, making her grin wider, "feel better. Happy."

"Thank you," she kissed her daughter, causing her to giggle.

"Mrs. Malik," she cringed at that also, looking up at the nurse. Her name was Briana and she was a veterinary technician, the best she had.

"Yes?"

"Mr. Malik is outside and you have a client waiting for you in the next room."

"Um, okay," she got up and set Amal down so she could walk, "tell Zayn to give me ten minutes."

"Alright," the nurse walked out and little Amal followed her mother into the next room.

"Dana?" Gizelle questioned, raising her eyebrows and looking at the Siberian Husky on the examination table.

"I don't know what happened to Gino, but he's not walking on his back foot," she huffed out, a look of concern in her eyes, "I saw Zayn outside, too."

"I know," she wished people would stop telling her that, "give me a minute, alright?"

"Sure," Dana smiled genuinely, "bye, Mally-Wally!"

"Bye bye, Dany," she waved, following Gizelle back out the room and towards the front of the building.

"Baba's here, Mal," Gizelle picked her up and walked outside towards Zayn's Audi. He was sitting on the hood, looking down and jingling his keys in his hand.

"Baba!" she kicked her feet and made grabby hands at Zayn. He looked up, a large smile on his face despite the very dark circles under his eyes. He had on plain grey sweatpants and a t-shirt. He hopped down and met them halfway.

"Hey, Mal," Zayn grabbed her from Gizelle and kissed the giggling baby's cheeks, "hi, hi, hi."

"Hi," she smiled.

"Do you need her car seat?" she asked. She knew he did since he always forgot to switch with the cars.

"Uh, dang, yeah. I forgot to switch with the cars," he facepalmed, "sorry."

She hummed knowingly, not saying much, just walking to her car and grabbing the Mickey Mouse themed seat and closing her door.

"What's on the back of your jacket?"

She inwardly groaned, remembering the Great Dane that decided to play in the mud outside instead of taking his vaccinations.

"Long story," Gizelle waved him off and opened his door, locking the car seat and strapping Amal in. "I love you, baby, have fun with Baba. Okay?"

"Coming?" she questioned.

"Probably," she lied. She would have -- maybe -- if she didn't have so many appointments today, "I don't know. But I'll call you?"

"Yes," she giggled, "lots of love."

Gizelle smiled one last time before closing the door and facing Zayn. He looked back at her, biting his lip nervously.

"We--"

"Um--"

"Oh," he chuckled when he noticed they spoke at the same time, "go ahead."

"Um. I don't know if I can come by tomorrow. I still have appointments--"

"That's fine, that's fine," he nodded, "I took off tomorrow also to rest up. I'll still keep her."

"You do need rest, Zayn," she said. The concerned mother and wife in her came out and she couldn't help it. She cared about him whether she admitted it or not.

"Clearly," he shrugged, "she's my daughter too, though. So, I'll do my part."

"What were you going to say?"

"Oh, um. I just wanted to let you know we were probably going to the zoo today," he shrugged again, "haven't been in a while. So, uh, it'll be best to call if you need anything."

She missed those times. "Okay. Um, I gotta go--"

Zayn hugged her tight. His arms wrapping around her waist as he sniffled in her neck. She tried to resist the urge to hug him back, but then again, she still loved him, so she did. He might have overstepped a boundary by kissing her forehead but he seemed like he didn't care.

She didn't either.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked, still looking at her even as he got in the car.

"Yeah," Gizelle nodded, "tomorrow," she backed up, throwing up a peace sign before walking back in the animal hospital.

Dana was still in the room with her dog, Gino. "How'd it go?" she asked.

Gizelle let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, a small smile on her face. "Um...it went well. It went well."

"Good."

°°°

6 INCH<<<zayn's actual peñe size

[edit:: obviously y'all don't know y'all's math symbols. I'm saying that he's bigger than that. stay in school😘]

SHE STACKIN MONEY MONEY EVERYWHERE SHE GOES (you know)

y'all hate Dana lmao trust me this book isn't much of a drama as y'all think it's literally a process

BUT DID YOU SEE GRIFF AND ZAYN SWITCH A SHOE ZRIFF IS REAL AND ZAYN WAS AMAZING ON THE VOICE