HEY PEOPLE IM BACK AGIAN LOL SORRY THIS MIGHT BE SHORT IDK JUST DEPENDS ON WHERE MY THOUGHTS GO....
MAY 9 11:08 yea yea yea ik ik ik i am suppose to love her she's my gf. I mean yeah I do like her and all but I wouldn't say love and I don't wanna hurt her cause she a really nice girl and all but she deaf and has went to a deaf school all her life which has put her I guess u could say mental state is a few years behind and all. Also her family is so nice and happy and fun I mean they are cool an awesome people and it would just be awkward and weird if I run into them in public or something but yea I mean at first it was ok we was texting back to back then it was only a couple times a day now its mainly just good night texts . that isn't even the part I don't like the part I don't like is when I go to her house she runs away from me and hides even tho she wanted me to come and I end up hanging out with her family more than her I've been over there maybe 6 or 5 times and only 2 times she paid any attention to me and that was the first time and last time. Last time was yesterday which was Sunday and the week before I had already talked to her about it and she bearly understood what I was talking about. I told her I wanna be with someone who makes me feel like they actually love me an want me not run and push me away like they don't but yea its not really her fault but I'm trying and I can only try for so long until u just say fuck it I'm done. I mean I wanna break up with her but then again I don't (comment what u think I should do) anyway that brings me to another aggravating problem my mom she back with her ex my half brothers daddy that kinda put me through hell growing up but that's a different story. But like I was saying they are back together and living at his dads in Lafayette the town I basically grow up with all them and she is eventually gonna move out with him an my brother and when she dose shes gonna want me to move back in with her and I can't say no to her and I kinda do wanna move back I mean all my old friends are there they all are more excepting then the most of the people here are and with my mom I have all different kinds of freedom I can actually leave the house by myself an live life like a normal teenager not shut up in the house under lock an key like I am here at my mawmaws. I love my mawmaw more than anything in the world but she doesn't except me for being bi and all that and I look past that even tho it Hurts really bad. I don't wanna make her mad or anything and there are a couple people here in summerville that I don't really wanna leave but my mom is my mom she loves me an excepts me for who I am but my mawmaw has always been kinda my favorite she has spoiled me from the start but now her being all lovey dovey I can't do anything remotely dangerous I mean like really I got the brand new bike that's is awesome as hell but I can't ride it ten feet out of the yard and I'm like what am I suppose to do ride it back and forth and they all look at me like yea. I'm just like bruh really I mean I didn't say this but still and along with debating on if I should or shouldn't break up with my gf i am also debating on rather or not I should move back in with my mom but idk life is messed up lol its kinda like that one video game you can never beat mainly because it gets harder and worse the farther into it u get.
GOODNIGHT,
Kole Cordell
