Undead

31; unforgiving

Ra

I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to accept the fact that Osiris walked into the apartment clutching my newborn baby against his bare chest. I didn't want to wrap my mind around the idea that my kid was here with him instead of with Melissa. I didn't want to think about any of that.

My legs took an unsteady step forward, and I tore my eyes away from the baby to his own irises, and my stomach flipped. There was nothing in his eyes except pain and guilt. He was internally battling with what to say and if he should say anything. His pupils swam in rivers of pink, his cusps full to capacity with his own emotion. His entire body was flushed pink with exhaustion and agony - physical pain because of his injury in his chest and shoulder, and mental and emotional pain with whatever he experienced with Melissa and our baby.

There was only a few feet between us, but it felt like a journey around the world. He detached himself from the situation and I wasn't sure if he would hear me if I said anything. He shook uncontrollably with nerves, and part of me wanted to tell him that it was okay. But I would be lying - this was not okay in any aspect.

Kane and Akila also seemed to be frozen in time and place, unsure of what to say or do in this tension-filled interaction. This wasn't even an interaction at all, we just happened to be sharing the same space at the moment.

My mind reeled, and I didn't know if I wanted to read his memories to tell me what happened since he was unable to do so. I decided against it because I knew it would tear me up to find out so prematurely.

When I took a step toward him, he took a step back. He was afraid of what I would do, and honestly I didn't blame him.

"Let's get you two cleaned up," Akila finally cut into the tension and stepped around me. O's eyes fell on her and he began to cry, mumbling incoherently to her as she pried the small child from his arms. His arms and torso were spotted with blood, and he reached out for the bundled up baby even after Akila walked away with him or her.

Just before O crumbled to the floor, Kane caught him and steadied him. He turned his jaw up to look at him, and O responded with more mumbling. I couldn't tell if he was going to collapse because of his emotions or his exhaustion, but Kane prevented that from happening. Kane was always there for him. Always.

Kane was leading him to his bedroom but I needed him to explain. "He stays here," I gritted out.

"Look, I'm just gonna let him get another shirt and wipe this blood -"

"Until he tells me why the fuck that thing is here and not with Melissa, he's not going any-fucking-where." That thing was my child, I knew that. But I flipped the switch to my emotions off.

O flinched, but his eyes remained glued to the floor. "Ra...I -"

"Shut the fuck up!" I spat. I didn't want him to say anything or breathe another breath.

Akila was rinsing the baby off in the sink, cleaning the blood and amniotic fluid off its soft skin. "Ra, c'mere. I think she wants to meet you."

She. That thing is a girl. My girl. My daughter.

I trudged over to the kitchen and stood behind her. I didn't know why I was so disgusted with the sight of my own child. I didn't want to be anywhere near her - I wasn't ready to be a father and she wasn't supposed to be here without Mel. I couldn't let myself get attached to her because I knew she couldn't stay - I would have to give her away to my parents.

My daughter's skin was pink, and I hoped that wasn't a bad thing. She had yet to open her eyes as Akila held her under the gentle stream of the water. There were no tears, and she wasn't fidgeting. "She thinks she's still in the womb."