¬Moments¬ [NamJin]

6~

Jin tried hiding his smile by looking down and avoiding eye contact. Fear instantly appeared on the boys face as his phone vibrated, he knew he only got messages from his mother and she only messaged him when she was angry. Jin hesitantly checked his phone and panicked.

Get home. now.

Jin stumbled up in a rush and bowed. "I-I'm sorry, I really need to leave. It's been fun though um yeah I'm sorry." Before Jin could leave, Namjoon called out. "Wait. Can I walk you back? I kind of need to get home too so we can go the same way maybe?" Jin almost forgot about all his home drama when Namjoon spoke. It was almost magical. His heart sped up and without thinking much, he nodded. They both quickly said goodbye to Hoseok and Jimin, Yoongi still passed out, and left.

When they got outside, Namjoon turned his focus to the boy next to him.

"Hey you looked scared earlier, is everything okay at home?"

No, help me.

"Y-yeah everything's fine I just forgot that my mom is uh r-really protective over me so I need to get home." It had never hurt Jin to lie, but this time he felt a pang in his chest. He wanted to scream and crawl into a ball and cry for help but he didn't. There were multiple reasons for this.

A) Namjoon didn't care.

B) It wasn't his business anyway

C) His mom would beat him up for complaining to someone.

Jin kept silent, getting used to the built up pain.

"Okay, I see. My mum's like that too, she gets so worried when I'm out too late." Namjoon smiled into the air. "But it's how I know she cares."

It must be really nice to have care like that.

Jin never thought he was missing out on anything but seeing the blonde talk so fondly of his mother made Jin question how much of his life he missed out on. He didn't get jealous. He just got curious.

"Your mother, is she nice?"

"She can get angry and say bad things but she doesn't mean them and apologises. Yeah, she's great. Why?"

"Oh, nothing. just wondering."

The rest of the walk, Jin focused himself on his company and not on what was going to happen when he got home. It was so easy to forget everything when Namjoon was involved. What was it about him that made Jin's feelings escalate so quickly? He didn't trust easily but would all of a sudden entrust his life to a boy he's spoken to only a handful of times. The only worrying thing to Jin was that he didn't know how Namjoon felt, did he find Jin annoying? Was he just trying to be nice? He hoped not. He wanted to be seen as a friend at the least. He wanted Namjoon to be happy when they were together and smile when he thought of Jin. Nobody ever thought of him in a positive way so he hoped for once, the one person he liked full heartedly would share half the feeling.

The two reached Jin's untamed front yard which was more of a sloppy patch of grass than a yard. The older couldn't feel judgement coming from Namjoon but he gathered it was there anyway. "Sorry it doesn't look the best but this is me-"

"It's fine, your yard isn't there to impress me." Namjoon replied with a chuckle, making Jin smile lightly.

*

When the two parted and Jin entered his house, his smile faded completely. His mother stared at him with a pissed off expression. "Where were you?"

"I was just with uh some friends." Jin stuttered slightly, he didn't know whether to call them friends or not.

"You don't have any friends, Jin! You had jobs today and you knew that. So I ask again, where were you?" Her tone was harsher this time. Jin felt a lump in his throat as he thought about what to say.

"I um I was just at Yoongi's house. I'm sorry." Jin remembered that he did have stuff to do, and now his mum was pissed off. She groaned and slapped Jin across the face. 

"Fuck off." Jin almost let out a tear when his mom suddenly laughed. She always made fun of him when he cried. She thought it was 'too gay'. The boy bit his cheek and quickly entered his room, locking the door. He knew that later when he would come out, he'd get beaten for ignoring his mother, but he didn't care. In fact, he was sure that he just went numb.

His tears let loose, he knew he was a disappointment but it just hurt when he was reminded.

You have no friends.

You're alone.

you shouldn't exist.

Free up some space.

At this point, his mother's words didn't bother him. He'd forgotten that she even said anything. No, by now it was just him and himself. He hated himself. Jin crawled up on the floor and lifted his head when a piece of paper fell out of his pocket. He picked it up with two shaky fingers and saw scrawny digits in blue ink.

Namjoon's number.

//I'm sometimes a mom person and I'm sometimes a mum person bc I can be//