¬Moments¬ [NamJin]

11~

The two boys were still for a few minutes, with Namjoon stood at the door, his eyes exploring Jin's state. He knew it wouldn't do good to ask him 'Are you okay?' because he wasn't, or 'What happened?' Because that wasn't his business. Instead of saying any of that, he closed the door and walked up to Jin, sitting next to him crossed legged.

"Why did you show up?" Jin's voice cracked.

"Because you asked me to."

"Yeah but that was stupid and you should of kept doing what you were doing I'm sorry I-"

"Look at you, you look dreadful. You need someone Jin, you can't suffer like this alone." Jin didn't even try to stop his cries, he knew he looked awful when he cried but he couldn't hold it in. He felt Namjoon's hand rub circles on his back.

"Hey, hey, it's alright. Where's your mother? She must be really worried about you."

"Take one look around this place, I lied. My mum doesn't care, she's not protective of me she's a damn addict who can't keep her house even slightly presentable!" Jin suddenly snapped at the boy next to him, the anger from earlier coming back. Namjoon understood, he didn't take it to heart, he just sat there and took it all without snapping back or leaving.

He took Jin's advice and had a proper look around the compact house. It didn't look like a nice family house, it was nothing like his own.

Jin stopped talking. He didn't tell much of the story.. he couldn't.

He didn't say that his mum left or that she abused him.

He didn't say that he hated himself.

He didn't mention the way he collapsed earlier.

It would be too much. Instead, Jin looked down at his lap. Namjoon's gaze stayed on the brunette beside him, he thought Jin just had some behavioural issues and that was why he was always so quiet, but he didn't think much of it. He still didn't understand the situation but he didn't need to. He just needed to be there, on the stained carpet hoping silence was enough. He needed to be there like he promised.

Jin calmed his tears, he couldn't cry anymore. His eyes were red and his heart was aching. After all the years of smiling and telling himself he was 'used to it', Jin finally broke. He knew that he looked pathetic and he hated that Namjoon always saw him like this. He hated how he just ran to Namjoon, but he had nowhere else to go. Besides, no matter how much it hurt, he still felt safe. Namjoon's presence was powerful and he didn't even know it. Just by sitting next to the boy, Jin felt like nothing worse can happen. Like it could only get better from there.

Namjoon's eyes widened when he finally looked down and saw Jin's knuckles. He had dried blood around them, and new blood shining and trickling down his hand. Without any thought, Namjoon took Jin's hand and examined it, the older boy flinching at his touch. "You have to be careful. If you break your hand it won't look pretty. Come on, let's get you cleaned up." Namjoon stood up and lead Jin into the kitchen, not letting go of his bleeding hand.

Jin almost died of embarrassment. "P-please don't um, take notice of the mess I-"

"Does it look like I mind the mess?" Namjoon locked his gaze on Jin. "because right now I care a bit more about you hurting yourself." Jin looked down.

He was lying.

He made it sound so genuine,

But his 'care' was fake.

"I know!" Jin shouted, and realized a second after that it looked like he just yelled at Namjoon. "No I didn't mean- I-" Jin shook his head and stumbled over his words until Namjoon hugged him.

"It's okay, it's okay. I'm here." The younger brushed his hand through Jin's hair, trying to comfort him.

"I.. I... No!" Jin pushed out of the embrace and looked at the boy in front of him. "Stop doing that! It makes me feel like you care about me, so stop getting my hopes up! Don't touch me or... Or say that you're here because I know you'll leave! .... You'll leave and I won't be able to get used to being alone again."

The two boys looked at each other for a while before Namjoon finally spoke. "Jin, you might not believe me but I'm not a complete dick, I care about you and I'm not going to leave you." He spoke slowly as if it would help the words get into Jin's head. "Now, give me your hand you poop." Namjoon took hold of Jin's hand again and ran it under the cold water. He smiled at Jin and actually got one back. He couldn't help himself, it's just something about the way that Namjoon made him feel.

He didn't want that specific feeling to ever leave.

//I love you guys so much save me *bts breaks down door* But seriously thank you so much for over 800 reads i thought i'd get five lmao. bless you guys <3//

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Remember to smile today ^-^