The Older We Get

Chapter 77

                "Not very dusty." I comment, sliding my fingers over the furniture which results in a small gathering of grey fuzz on my skin afterwards, more than a month's absence showing in our old house. "Your sister did an ok job."

"Somewhat. I have a feeling she got so busy, she stopped visiting after the first 2 weeks to keep the place up. Probably found another area to live that was more to your cousin's liking."

"Spoiled brat." I sigh, landing on the couch facing some patio doors behind some shaded curtains, the entire layout of this house, more modern, up to date, and larger, even if it doesn't have a second floor.

Las Vegas.

Housing me again are you?

"I'm guessing you'll be skipping Sage's birthday, her race? Valentines day?"

"Yeah." I cut him off from saying anything more, his pokes at me to hurry and grow up so I can face what always follows and lingers wherever I go annoying the sh1t out of me, especially since it signifies all the things I want to be a part of, but can't.

He's not helping.

He's just twisted the embedded knife.

Or maybe it's all just me.

"Are you going to call to cancel the appointments for her parade? Or should I?" He leans on the kitchen island countertop, waiting when I take a deep breath with my eyes closed, swallow, and then get back up.

"I'll do it." I stand to leave the living room. "I'd appreciate it if you called the agency and magazine though."

"Magazine?"

"Well yeah. I'm back." I scoff and lean on a glass divider with a tapestry hung on it. "Might as well get to work. Enroll me back in school. Do the things I used to do."

"I'm surprised you're taking this attitude." My father blinks in puzzlement, not the funny kind, but the baffled concerned kind, and waits before proceeding to make the phone call. "I thought you'd lock yourself in your room. Ask to be homeschooled. Tell the agency to wait a while."

Blunt way to put it, but true. That's not all he thought I'd do though.

"Kill myself?" My head falls on the side of the glass wall causing my long hair to abruptly slip away from my forehead. "I know I said I would once before. Or, several actually." Yikes. "I'm sorry I did."

"Chandler. You bre-"

"I won't kill myself." I turn my head slightly to look his way, so he can see the sincerity in both eyes. These blue one's that Sage constantly complimented, her large one's a thousand times more enrapturing, and something I'll ache for whenever I think I'm safe from missing her. "That's not an option anymore."

"Why not?" He inquires, which just makes me realize how sick it is to actually converse with a parent, the remaining parent, why you've decided not to murder yourself.

Might not be for me, but it's good enough.

"Sage asked me not to. Or well, she told me to promise her. I gave her my word." And that's when I walk away, really very done with talking about something so close to the wound, but I hear dad's words he speaks to himself, regardless of how fast I moved.