The Older We Get

Chapter 79

                "You're mouth is hanging open." She informs me so I can shut it quick. "Stretches first, right?"

"Nn. Yeah." I stand still, not like I have much of a choice since I'm dumbfounded, and move my head to see her walking over in the direction of the gym matt for high jumping. "Katelyn, you signed up?"

"Yeah." She responds when I wonder for a second, and figure it out just as she enlightens me without really knowing whether to look at my eyes or away from them, but before I get used to this uncertainty in her, she's her regular, aloof self, putting her hair up in a bow and keeping a straight face. "I signed up for Chandler."

"Right." I smile. "You would've been taking class with the two of us."

Astounding. Awkward, but astounding.

All this time has gone by and we finally spoke freely, yet it's barely making my heart rate turn.

Not because she 'doesn't have a chance' now, but, I don't know.

"You've known he's been gone for a while now." I clear my throat and push forward with this honesty that's particularly painful to both of us, since both of us love him. I'm not under any illusion that she loves him as much as I do, but, in a strange way, well... "You could've dropped the class."

"My mom didn't want me to." Katelyn waits a moment. "And Josh told me to come as well."

Josh?

"Seriously?" My brow rises. "He must have some weird idea that we'd bury the hatchet."

"Yeah." She looks me over, trying to get a fix on what's wrong with me. "He's an idiot."

"You know, you can call your mom. Tell her I didn't show up, you can go home." I know I'll probably get in trouble, be lectured and perhaps asked to stop teaching, which doesn't bother me so much, I didn't expect to be here much longer, but neither Katelyn or I want to do this.

"It's fine. Just show me the routine." Or...maybe she does since she leaves and makes me wonder why she didn't take me up on my offer. I know she's not heartless, but I thought she'd at least be fine with ditching this night. Who wants to hang out and be taught and corrected or encouraged by the ex girlfriend of the guy you've been after and still feel something for at 7:00 at night in a class that you don't really give a sh1t about?

What's worse, are we speaking plainly between us, or still dancing around, testing each other?

What's the point in doing that?

Chandler's gone.

Being insensitive or being sensitive, it's almost like a concern that's at this point a joke.

I doubt either one of us would be intentionally hurtful to one another, but maybe it's just one of those things you let die, however, she's here, and she's not leaving, possibly for her own reasons like not wanting to upset her mom, but that's almost the opposite of letting whatever it is between us die.

There's one thing building up more and more inside of me concerning this girl that I didn't see coming, just like I didn't expect her to be here tonight.

"Ok. First, spread your feet a little wide, reach down," I start to coach her, which she remains silent to, doing everything I tell her, when my hand begins to shake for fear of not being able to keep my mouth shut.