My Real Journal

November 9, 2011

Dear Journal,

The holidays. Their almost here. I'm excited but a little nervous. This will be the first Thanksgivings and the first Christmas that my father will have without his mother. I know shes hurt him but that only made him try harder for the love he so longed that she would give him.

For me i'm glad shes gone. Her actions have caused my family so much pain. It's a consistent domino effect even now that shes gone.

I've talked to my brother about it but he told me the past is the past. I mean I wasn't even born when it happened. I hope you caught on to the " when IT happened" because what it was is something terrible. It's what she did to my father when he was a mere little boy. It's a sad thing what happened but how it effected him was even worse. How it effected me. My brother.

Kids in the old days would get hit and it was normal. Getting hit refers to using a hand or paddle and things of that matter.Nowadays it's not the same. My father was hit with a shovel. Yes a shovel by his own mother. Which may or may not be such a bad thing if he was fine. But it is a bad thing due to the fact it was in the head. It caused damage. My father had seizures after because of it for about 30 years or more. It also caused further learning disabilities.

Now you may understand why I have such resentment towards her. My brother and I have learning disabilities, which have made us sympathetic . It's affected my life so much. Nothing has been given to me nor my brother. We have worked so hard to be where we are. I'm in an amazing academic program in my school. I'll have 30 college credits at the end of high school. I may even have my AA at the end of high school as well. My brother is my role model for that is the reason i've tried and achieved so much.

To this horrible story there is light. My father stopped having seizures when my brother was born. I guess mircales are literally born and thank God for that.

-Katherine