My Real Journal

July 25, 2012

Dear Journal,

My parents are driving me crazy. No one will know to level of intensity it have gotten to unless you were to be in my own shoes. They fight and when they don't they fight with me. I WILL, mark my words, do outstanding in school for the remainder of my high school years to get into a college that is the hell away from here.

I hope to read this journal years from now and wonder if I was right to have felt these strong emotions of hate. I don't write these entries when the level of pain and anger is at the peak. I write this as I'm in the state of calmness. Trying to reflect on what I've gone through. I realize  my angry tone that I speech with my mother sometimes are is not because I simplyam in a pissed of mood for no reason. It's because I remember all the bad things i've remembered her say or do. Same goes with my father.

I feel I have to type this since it's been killing me. I've told my brother's wife something i've known for a while. She brought up the subject and I jumped at the chance to get it out. I've held that secret in for 9 years. Now thats the reason she dislikes my parents now. They think it's because she's trying to show her importance since my brother and her just got married. It's not. It's because I couldn't keep my mouth shut. All my anger is in that secret. Just because I've told someone doesn't mean it's made it better. It's made my anger grow into hatred since i've seen someone react to what the secret is. Now I know that I shouldn't have to live or put up with it. Now I count down the last remaining year I have left to be with my parents then i'm out of here.