The Boy In The Beanie (Fetus Harry Styles)

I've Lost Him

Here I am, back where I was before, in my bedroom alone. Im waiting. For what? I don't know maybe I wait for something to happen, not sure what I want to happen but I wait. I just stare at the ceiling and listen to music not caring what song comes on even if it's one I don't like I don't bother to change it. I just lay paralyzed.

Then I hear it play, Blink 182. I know I should change it because all it does is make me think of Harry but instead I just listen and think. A tear rolls down my cheek, first one, then another, until I'm full out crying. My face still shows no sign of emotion and I don't bother to wipe them away.

I decide not to tell Aria, I think I'll just wait for Monday and she can find out on her own.

The weekend moves slowly but not slow enough. Monday comes along and I still haven't had any contact with Harry and I've been ignoring Aria's texts.

Luckily, she's not here, at school today. But I'm sure he is. I walk into my second period and sit down not bothering to greet Mrs. Alm like I usually do. The bell rings and there's no sign of the boy... until-

"Harold, you're late, where's your tardy?"

"Don't got one."

"Then go get one."

Harry sits down and scoffs.

"Ok then?" says Mrs. Alm, confused.

Harry has completely changed his wardrobe, he wears black skinny jeans with a chain hanging on the side, a tight tee, boots, his hair is completely slicked back with gel and a bandana is worn around his head. Not to mention his personality, no matter how hard I try I can't seem to find the Harry I once knew.

I look at him from across the room, he looks back but only for second to give me a look as if he didn't know who I am but I've learned quite a bit about Harry, what that look really says is,

'Look at me. Is this what you wanted, love? Well, this is what you did.'

I can almost her him saying those exact words.

I continue to study him I search for the boy in the beanie, he no longer wears a beanie on his head. I search for the light in his eyes that shines like the little star he was but the only thing I see is darkness, most of all search for the boy I could once call mine but he cannot be found.

Because he is no longer mine.