My heart was beating so fast. I don't even know what I'm going to do if it is him. And I don't know what I'm going to do if it's not him either.
Some old fat guy opened the door. When he seen me his eyes lit up and he looked me over.
"Hi, um do you know if a Jerome still lives in the circus?" I asked.
"Uh, yeah, come on in." He said quickly and opened the door.
I stepped inside the small familiar trailer. It looked exactly the same as it did when the Valeska's owned it.
He motioned for me to sit down, and I did. He sat uncomfortably close. I scooched away a little bit, "so, um this used to be his trailer" I said.
"Wait, you're looking for Jerome Valeska!?" He asked in shock, then looked at me like I was crazy. "Sweetie he's been dead for almost a year now" he said.
"So, does he still live with the circus or not?" I asked ignoring his question.
"I don't think he can live here if he's dead. And why would you be looking for a man like that, I mean you do know all the horrible things he's done, right?"
"Yeah, we'll, he's my boyfriend, and I kinda really need to find him, it's important" I said.
"You're crazy" he said then stood up and grabbed my arm, "you gotta go" he said standing me up.
Something inside me was telling me that he knows something.
I jerked my hand out of his grasp, "no, I know you know something. You're working for Strange, aren't you?" I acused.
He grabbed both of my wrists and pulled me closer, "I know that your boyfriend is dead, and I work for the circus. You better get out of here now before I call the cops" he said.
I tried to get out of his grip, but I couldn't, "fine! I'm leaving, damn"
He pushed me towards the door roughly, and opened it, "but I will be back for your Ass, and I will find out what you know" I said then left.
He slammed the door behind me. I walked around for a little bit then went into the woods near the circus. Me and Jerome have been here a few times before, one time we even slept out here together.
I found the spot that we always went to and sat on the big rock near the river.
I picked up some rocks and began throwing them into the water, thinking of where I'm going to go, and what I'm going to do from now on.
I mean, I still can try to get a job, that will hire an ex Maniax, and an insane person. I could try to do good, if I want to.
But why would I want to be good? It doesn't suit me. I've tried to be good before, and that just led me to meeting the love of my life. Who happened to be bad, and we were perfect together. We were bad.
I think if me trying to be good, and that led me to Jerome, that's a sign. It's a sign that I'm not meant to be a good person.
I sat on the ground, leaned against the rock, and hugged me knees. I started crying, and I couldn't stop.
Everything grew blurry, and I seen my parents.
"You threw your life away" my mom said.
"You could have had anything in this world. Could've finished school" dad said.
"Could've had a great job. A husband. A family. A good home." She said.
"You could have if you wouldn't have killed us.." he said.
I buried my face in my hands, why am I so hurt by this? I don't even care about them or what they think of me.
I was never around them, and when I was all they cared about was each other, and how imperfect I am.
"Why did you kill us, darling?" My mother asked, in a sarcastic kind of way.
"I mean, you knew that we were all you had, and yet you still did it."
"I hope you're happy with yourself, because if you're not, then what's the point of living?" She asked.
"So you can see that selfish boyfriend of yours? So he can take advantage of you and hurt you again?" She said.
"He's not like that!" I yelled.
"Really? If he wasn't so selfish, would he be fucking that beautiful blond woman behind your back?" My dad asked. "Would he hurt you like he has? If he cared so much about you, would he have dragged you all the way down with him?"
"Shut up! You're not even real!?" I yelled and buried my head deeper into my hands.
"If we weren't real, then wouldn't you not be real either?" They said together.
I grabbed a big rock, stood up and went towards them.
"Just remember if you're not happy with yourself then there's no point" they said then disappeared.
I threw the stupid rock anyways, then sat down and cried even more.
Jerome was not selfish, or abusive. He wanted what was best for me, and that's why he never wanted to bring me along.
He did care. I know he did. By the way he looked at me, and how he acted around me, and how he protected me. He was doing that for me, I hope.
After another hour or so of crying I got up and laid down on the big boulder.
I think I fell asleep and had some more nightmares. Either that or they were hallucinations. Whatever they were it lasted til morning.
I got up early, just before the sun rose and started walking to Gotham. I took the road where me and Jerome had our first kiss. A couple hours later I found myself roaming the streets of Gotham.
I had no idea where I was going and who I was looking for, but I still walked around, looking for any familiar faces.
I stopped in an alley and threw up, and on the wall I seen some graffiti that reminded me of Jerome.
I walked away from the art and towards the penthouse for some reason. I know that Theo isn't really Theo anymore, and I have no idea what happened to Tabitha.
I walked right past the expensive building.
