Why are you so lovely?

Save Him

After that night, things started to change. You didn't call or text me as much as you used to, you didn't really hang around that alley as much like before, and you didn't sneak up to my window for a late night snuggle. I barely even saw you from that point on.

On my walks back from school you would be at the alley sometimes but you wouldn't be alone. Most of the time you were there with a couple of your friends. You told me a while back that their names were Nicolas, Chad, and Xavier. They were high school drop outs like you with dead beat dads and boozed up mothers. You said they've been your best friends since elementary school, which is quite impressive.

But other than those three, someone else would be there with you guys. Someone very unfamiliar. He had incredibly dark hair and very pale skin with shiny hazel eyes and a crooked smile. He wore hoodies and baggy jeans and tried to always have the majority of his face covered. Whenever I would see you hang around him you would look at me and quickly look away, pretending as if my existence was completely irrelevant. As if I was just another person. I didn't want to be just another person, Conner.

However, I tried to forget about those days.

Tried.

One day when I was walking back from school with my purple rain boots and sparkly bow your friends approached me, walking to me from their usual spot. I didn't know them but I figured that since you were buddies with them, they would be harmless.

"So," Chad spoke, "you're the girl Conner's been talking about." His blonde curly hair blew in the rhythm of the Washington breeze.

"Uh, yeah that's me." I muttered, a little intimidated by how deep and strong his voice was for just a teenager.

Chad then laughed and pulled out a cigarette, placing it right between his lips. "Well," he started, before taking out a blue colored lighter and lighting the cigarette, " we need you to stay away."

"From?" I asked, my confidence started stirring. Don't be scared. Don't be scared.

"Everybody who knows Conner!" Nicolas spat out. "Stay. Away." He clenched his teeth and turned red.

I swallowed nothing as my confidence vanished, soon changing into fear. " I don't...I don't understand."

"Listen, little girl," Chad said as he took a step towards me, "I don't know what your intentions are with Conner, and quite frankly we don't fucking care. He's been through a lot and he doesn't need an immature little school girl fucking it all up. This little love act of yours is stupid and foolish. You won't ever be able to understand him or understand us!"

"But..wh-"

"He doesn't need you! He has us! We're his family and you aren't apart of it! We do things that nobody in this world could ever explain to you. You're much too innocent and that won't ever change. You will never be able to understand this..this lifestyle of ours."

I was quiet, my head was looking straight at the concrete side walk and my eyes were watering but I refused to let them drop.

"Don't ever talk to him, or us." Chad finished and walked off with Nicolas. Chad turned his head back as he walked away and mouthed the words "ever again". At that point, I let my tears drip and threw my head back down, facing away from the world.

"Uh, hey." I heard a voice say as they placed a hand on my shoulder. I looked up, wiping away the salt stained tears and saw Xavier's face. "Are you alright?"

I shook my head and sniffled my nose. "Not even close."

Xavier nodded and put his hands in his pockets. He was tall, much taller than Chad and Nicolas, but still not as tall as you. He had eyes and hair like you but not as strong featured.

"I know you love him, Dahlia." He smiled a great big smile that made me crack one too. "He loves you too. Very much, actually."

My eyes watered at the thought of you loving me and I chuckled. "He does?"

He nodded once again. "Mhm, lots. He really cares about you and talks about you a lot. Conner says he's trying so hard to make you happy and make you feel like a princess."

My face changed to confusion once he had said that. "But, that sounds like a good thing! Why were they yelling at me for a good thing?"

"It's not as good as you think. You know that Conner is in a very tough situation with his family. He's been trying to work on himself and fix himself up so he can be successful and not make things hard for his life. He told me he can see a future with you and wants to provide everything for the two of you. But, Dahlia, that is stressing him out and he's turning back to drugs as well as Nicolas, Chad, and me. He's spending all his saved money on himself and us for drugs. Chad says we're turning into our fathers and it's your fault you did it to us and to Conner. And these drugs are much stronger than weed."

I looked at Xavier with complete horror in my eyes. The thought of Conner turning to drugs was the scariest thing in my life. Hard drugs.

Xavier started walking away backwards as we made eye contact. "I'm just saying, but do you really want Conner to end up dying? Becoming a drug addict and overdosing? You'll lose him forever. You have to let go to save him."

I didn't want to let go. I never wanted to let go. Conner, you're my everything. I want you for the rest of my life.

But I think that saving you would be much more important than losing you. Even if that meant saying goodbye.

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