Why are you so lovely?

Cigs

"I don't appreciate manipulation", mother started, "and I certainly don't appreciate deception!"

The three of us were sitting at the dining table, a strong tension dancing in the air. I was terrified but you seemed to be perfectly fine. While I was sweating out of nervousness, you sat there calmly.

"Ms Collins, I apologize for our behavior. It was very irresponsible for myself and for Dahlia to do such a thing and I greatly feel regret. I had no intention to meet you like this either, so I apologize for that as well. I truly do feel awful for going behind your back, even if I hadn't properly met you. I would never had wanted to disrespect you in anyway.

I was shocked at the way you spoke. So proper and so...mature. My mother and I both scanned your face and all we saw was seriousness. I was searching for a hint of childishness but I couldn't find it.

My mom had just nodded as she thought to herself while I sat there, shaking uncontrollably. "S-see mom, Conner and I didn't mean anything bad." I piped out shakily.

She rolled her eyes and sighed and that made me even more nervous. You shot me a sympathetic look but then turned back to my mom.

"So, are you two together?" She asked bluntly, refusing to break eye contact with you. All she did was stare.

I turned to look at your face, biting my lip in nervousness for what you were going to say. We both loved each other, and we both did almost everything a couple would do, yet you never asked me to be your girlfriend.

With the most serious face, you answered her question. "No, ma'am. I was made aware that Dahlia can't have a boyfriend and I respect that rule. We're simply just friends."

"Oh just friends?" She question sarcastically. "You two seem very close for 'just friends'."

You and I were both silent now. We had no idea what to say to that. I was more focused on the part where you said we were friends. We did almost everything a couple did, and we were well aware of our love for each other, but you never said I was your girlfriend. Were you embarrassed of me?

"I see. Well, you seem like a nice boy, Conner, but Dahlia is not allowed to have boys over, especially when I've not met them, or their parents. She's far too young for anything like that."

You nodded understandingly but I could see the hurt in your eyes. "I understand, Ms Collins."

"And I certainly cannot have you here anymore."

"What!" I interfered, jumping out of my chair. "What the hell do you mean you can't have him here!"

"Dahlia, I just found out my teenage daughter is sneaking boys into her room!" She turned to you and examined your face. "Older boys."

We were standing and screaming at each other over you while you sat on one of the dining chairs, unsure of what to do. Tears were starting to stream down my face uncontrollably and that's when you stood up too, wrapping your arms around me while I cried on  your shoulder as mother leaned her side against the granite dining table with a hand running through her dark hair.

"I respect your decision, ma'am." You said, letting go of me.

"Co-" I started but was cut off by mother.

"Thank you, Conner." She said with a small smile. "I appreciate it."

You turned to me and gave me a small smile, wiping away a tear from my eyes. "I'll see you soon."

With those words being said, you turned to the front door and walked out. Once the door was shut, I turned to my mother with rage in my eyes. I couldn't say anything due to how angered I was. My fists were clenched and my face was red. She didn't say anything to me and I didn't say anything to her. Instead I had ran up the stairs into my bedroom and slammed the door, soon collapsing onto my bed. The tears were a lot warmer, a lot saltier.

--
I snuck out that night. I was getting into some very bad habits. I didn't tell you, but just about every night I would sneak out to the woods a few blocks down and sit there all by myself in the dark. There's a small creek inside that is surrounded by moss covered logs. There's a specific log there with our initials carved on it. I hid my cigarettes, my lighter, and my water bottle filled with Crown Royal under it. I go there when I'm missing you the most but don't want you around me at that moment. I always want you but at the same time I need distance. But that's only because too much of you will kill me. So will the cigarettes, of course. But the difference between a pack of cigarettes and you is that no matter what, I can never run out of you.

don't ask me where I've been or what I've been doing because even I don't know.