The Mexican Adventures of Rudy Man

The Mexican Adventures of Rudy Man Issue #11: Majestic man on the case!

Majestic man made his way down the street eating a taco. "Their not so great..." He said angrily biting it. Just then Rudy sped by yelling "I got a ticket!!!". "How is he better then me?!" He yelled out loud throwing his taco down and making people stare. "Whatever, I'm going home" he said going through an alley. "Hey guys look" A thug said as three others surrounded Majestic man. "We got ourselves a man playing dress up" They said laughing. "Oh wow how original" Majestic man said. "You got a big mouth for someone in your situation" the man said pulling out a knife. "And what situation am I in?" Majestic man asked. "Your about to find out!" He said rushing at Majestic man. Majestic man quickly flipped him with his hair and grabbed the knife. "Anyone else?" He asked. The others charged with there knifes but Majestic man tangeled them up in his hair and threw them all to the side.
Majestic man then phoned the police who were on there way "you idiots don't even deserve a jail cell". As the cops were in sight Majestic man took off. "Wait!" A cop yelled as he swung off. He made his way home and got his keys out to open the door. As he inserted his keys the door fell down. "Oh....right" he said just walking into his living room. "This sure is the life" he said as a dirty dog was sleeping in his living room. "I should get a job" Majestic man said as the police knocked on the door (or the side of the house). "This is the SRRPD, please open up" A voice said. "What do you want?" Majestic man asked looking at them through the opening. "Hello there sir, were here to ask for your assistance in a crime" Paul said showing his badge. "You want me? Why not Rudy man?" He said putting the door back in place. "Hang on" Nick said holding the door with his foot. "We can't seem to contact Rudy man so we came to you". "So second pick huh?" He said. "You bet!" Paul said as Nick elbowed him in the stomach. "Alright I'll take it.....for a condition" Majestic man said. "He wants what!?!?!" The commissioner yelled through the phone. "But sir he said he wouldn't help unless we comply" Paul said. "That ungrateful maggot I'll make sure he never works in this city again!!!!" The commissioner yelled before calming down. "Okay fine....but if he doesn't crack this case.....there WILL be consequences!" The commissioner said hanging up. "He said okay!" Paul said waving at Majestic man. "Alright, I'm on the case!" He said standing heroically as his ceiling caved in. "Get in the car" Nick said. "Alright so what are we dealing with?" Majestic man asked. "A master criminal that has been going around, making the SRRPD look like fools!" Nick said. "Ha isn't it true?" Majestic man said. "Don't get cocky you!" Nick said looking back at him. "Road Nick! the road!" Paul said turning the wheel so they didn't crash. He's been going around various stores and taking whatever he wants but sometime later the goods are returned with no difference to them, they not even out of the packaging" Paul said. "Then what's the problem?" Majestic man asked. "The problem is if he can get away with doing this, that means others can too! He's showing how weak the SRRPD is and that's his biggest mistake!" Nick said punching the steering wheel. "We'll arrive at a store we think he may rob soon. "So its a steak out?" Majestic man said. "Well.....for us it is" Paul said. "We're here, now go look in the trunk" Majestic man said as Paul guided him. "You see while we do this you'll have to....". Paul popped open the trunk to reveal a girls dress, makeup and some high heels. "So as you can see we want you to-" "don't say it". "You agreed to all my terms right?" Majestic man asked. "Even one of them!" Paul said. "Fine....lets get moving" he said going into the restroom to change. "He's actually going to do it?" Nick said. "Yup got the camera ready?" Paul asked. "You bet". Majestic soon come out in a light blue dress and cute white heels. He put his hair up into a fish tail and turned his ear piece on. "You look great" Nick said as he heard Paul laughing in the back ground. "Shut up and tell me what else to do". "All you have to do now is go under cover at that shop and your good" Nick said. "What store is that?" He asked. "The perfume one....." Nick said quietly. "I hate y'all" he said walking into the store. The tainted air entered his lungs and made him cough. "Cough more girly like, remember your a young girl from Arizona, your name is Natasha" Nick said. "Got it" He said continuing to walk through the aile until he reached the counter. Before facing the cashier he cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "Excuse me I'm the new cashier" he said in a girly voice. "Do a curtsy!" Nick yelled. He quickly did a curtsy to the girls surprise. "You didn't have to do that..." the girl said blushing a bit. Majestic man heard the two laughing and cursed them out in his mind. "Well um....good luck... Um?" She said waiting for a name. "Oh, I'm Natasha" he said. "Okay good luck Natasha" she said leaving. Majestic man sat down and waited for some costumers "maybe this isn't so bad after all" he thought. "No don't sit down!" Nick and Paul yelled at him. "Huh?" He asked before a huge lady walked up to him. "What do you think your doing?!?!?" She yelled. "Um, I'm the new cashier, Nata-". "I don't care if your the president, if you work for me that means you work! Never sit down!!!" She yelled at him. "Y-yes mam!" He yelled tripping in his heels. "If you can't work in heels, don't bring them!!!" She yelled. She yelled so loud some ailes began to shake. Majestic man quickly got up and began stocking some perfumes as the lady left. "Who the hell was that?" He asked. "That's the manager, if she sees you stop for even a second consider yourself dead" Nick said. "Thanks for the warning" he said sarcastically. "Your welcome!" Paul said. "One more thing beware of 12:30" Nick said. "You mean the time?" Majestic man said looking at a clock to see it was 12:29. "Ah we lost track of time!" Paul yelled. "Listen carefully​ your about to-!" The car began to shake. "It's too late!" Paul yelled. "Good bye Majestic man, you were a worthy soilder" Nick said the signal was cut. "Huh?" Majestic man said as the clock struck 12:30. "Here they come!!!" The lady yelled as the doors were flooded with girls in seconds. They began go fill up the store faster then Majestic man thought possible. "Can you hear us?" Nick said as the signal kept going off and on. "Be......ful......it's....." Nick keep being cut off. "Noon rush!!!!" Paul said as all the girls bombarded Majestic man with questions about perfumes and makeup. The next hour was the most painful experience of Majestic man's life. As soon as the clock hit 1:30 all the ailes were cleared out as fast as they were filled in. Majestic man was struggling to stay up and all that could go through his head now was the endless amount of questions and the sound of the scanner as he checked girl after girl out. "Majestic man! Majestic man come in! He's dead Nick!!!!" Paul yelled. "I'm here....but not....." He said looking off into the distance. "Hey rookie!!!" The lady yelled coming up to Majestic man. "Oh no its the manager! Quick do something!!!" Paul yelled but Majestic man didn't move. She got closer and closer as she reached out for Majestic man. "Good job today, here's a snack for the road" She said giving him some Candy. "Thank you mam....I'll be going now" Majestic man said walking off. As Nick and Paul looked around they saw a figure jump on there hood and head to the door of the shop. "Majestic man he's arrived!!!" They yelled. Just then as he opened the door to leave a figure busted in. Majestic man snapped out of it and remember what he was doing. "Your going down!" He yelled still in a girls voice. The trespasser began putting a ton of perfumes in his bag until he saw a whole aile was thrown at him. He quickly dodged and was greeted with a punch to the face by the manager. He blocked in time but was still thrown back. "I've been expecting you" She said cracking her knuckles. The man looked ready to fight but was caught off guard when Majestic man attacked. "It's two against one give it up!" He said. The man was cornered and it seemed over for him until a sonic boom made the whole store shake and gave the guy a chance to run. He was running too fast for the manager to grab him. "He's getting away get him!" Nick yelled. "I have been forced into a dress, forced into high heels, had to braid my hair, worked to the bone by my boss and forced to answer stupid questions about fragrances for an hour! You will not get away!!!" He yelled as he ripped out of his clothes to reveal his costume. He then realesed his hair and had it attack the man. The man dodged but was now trapped in the building. He began to throw perfumes as he headed for the vents but Majestic man quickly blocked the vents and kicked the man to the wall. The two engaged in a fist fight with the man causing trouble until Majestic man used his hair to its fullest and entangled the man. Nick and Paul came in minutes later going through the hair and arrested the man. "Excellent job Majestic man!" Paul said. "I'm just glad it's all done" he said. "You saved my store, I thank you!" The manager said giving Majestic man a card. "What's this?" He asked. "It's a unlimited gift card to anything in the store, imagine it! All the perfumes you can get!" She said. "You do know I'm a guy right!?!?!" He yelled. After saying goodbye to the manager they headed off to the station. "Excellent job you two and of course you too Majestic man" The commissioner said waiting for them. "Now about those conditions" He said. "I'm listening". "In addition to not only helping in this case but also joining the SRRPD you asked for 3 conditions. #1. A house to stay in, #2 Access to any and all cases done by the SRRPD and finally #3, A pet side kick. I'm not going to lie two of these were difficult to deal with but after some work we got it done. You will be living in a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom house with kitchen, living room and big lawn" The commissioner said. "Amazing!" Majestic man said. "Your welcome" Paul said. Majestic man looked confused. "Didn't they tell you, you will live with them now" the commissioner said. "What!?" Majestic man said. "Anyway on to #2". "Hang on I'm sharing a house!?!?!?" He yelled. "You now have rank S clearance, which only Nick, Paul and me have. This will allow you to enter and look at all documents from all cases done by the SRRPD" The commissioner said giving him a card. "And that last one was rather difficult and strange but we did get it done, allow me to introduce you to your new partner!" The commissioner said as he brought in the dirty dog that was in Majestic man's house. "Your giving me this one!?!?!" Majestic man yelled. "He's had a crash course in Kaine training and is fully developed, sort of" The commissioner said. The dog was a gray dog with thick fur and sharp ears like a wolf, still a pup. "After a good cleaning, feeding and training he proved to be a mighty fighter, we named him Leon" the commissioner said proudly. "Why would you name him?! Well I guess it's okay" Majestic man said as the dog peed on him. "I take it back". He was later taken to his new home and introduced to the new routine and house guidelines. "Make sure to wash your hands and never wear shoes inside and don't turn off my night light and-" Paul began reading off a list that rolled all the way to the ground. Majestic man was forced to hear them all as Leon chewed on the boot he was wearing. All the emotionals in Majestic man only let him say one thing "Worst day ever".