The Mexican Adventures of Rudy Man

The Mexican Adventures of Rudy Man Issue #15: Rudy Man: The movie!

"Man its been a pretty great week hasen't it, first the soccer convention, then the good weather and I've been able to have relaxing time, you too right Jorge?" Rudy said. Jorge clucked "sure" even though he was remembering the butcher attack and the "kidnapping". "Well todays a day off so lets go and do something" Rudy said as Jorge agreed. Just then someone knocked on the door. Rudy opened it to see a man with a yellow shining tux on and golden teeth and rings. "Ah the great Rudy man you look even better in person have you lost weight? You been working out? What am I saying you don't need to do anything your perfect" the man said feeling up Rudy. "Um what's this about?" Rudy asked. "Ah yes my card" the man said giving him a card too shiny to see. "I'm movie producer, movie director and sometimes swim suit model, Stephen rogberg!" "Okay....." Rudy said confused. "I'm here to ask a question of you" he said. "Sorry but I don't need a swim suit model" Rudy said about to close the door but Stephen held it open "haha such a sense of humor but I'm not here for a job for me I'm here for a job for you" he said poking Rudy in the chest. "A job?" Rudy said. "I here to offer you a lead in a movie staring you! RUDY MAN! Imagine, all the fans lined up to see you on the big screen beating up some baddies" he said punching the air. "Well....that does sound cool" Rudy said. "It won't cost a penny to you as long as you give it your all, I guarantee this movie will be big! You'll be a star!" Stephen said. "Hmmm okay then lets do it!" Rudy said. "Excellent excellent now walk with me walk with me" he said taking Rudy to his limo. Jorge followed but Stephen didn't let him in. "This movies going to be big! Big I say!" He said as they took off. Jorge got on top and followed them. "So here's how I see things going down, we open up with you looking out at the city on top a mountain! Your cornered! Goons all around but their nothing to your mega kick! And then!". Stephen continues telling Rudy about the script and such while Jorge struggles to stay on the limo. Jorge noticed they were heading out of the city and to a more secluded area. "So how long will this movie be?" Rudy asked. "It will be as long as needed to show how amazing you are! Even though your amazingness can be shown in seconds we need to make a movie so try to keep your greatness under control" Stephen said nugging him. "We're here sir" the driver said. "Perfect timing! Come Rudy man come! Can I call you Rud? Come now! The stage awaits!" He said pushing Rudy out. As Rudy got out of the limo he saw they were miles from the city and all he saw was a giant building. "How have I never seen this?" Rudy thought. "Enough staring we have much to do!" Stephen said. As they walked in there were people rushing left and right. "We need more light on the left side of the stage and someone get the costumes from the dressing room and who keeps eating all the mini cakes!!!" A man with a mega phone yelled. "Ah Rudy man!" He said, blasting the mega phone in Rudy's facr. He jumped off his high chair and went to greet him. "What an honor!" He said with the megaphone. "Opps my bad" he said putting the megaphone down. "It's an honor to meet you, I'm assistant director, Roger Signs, it really is an honor to have you here" he said shaking Rudy's hand way to much. "How is production going Roger?" Stephen asked. "We're getting everything in place as we speak, it should be ready any minute now!" He said through the megaphone to make sure everyone heard. "Come Rudy man your dressing room awaits" Roger said taking him to a room with a giant star on it. "This is your dressing room, complete with a mini fridge, TV, massage chair, and personal masseuse" He said sitting Rudy down. "I'll be back in a few minutes, fell free to take it all in" he said shutting the door. "Where are my mini cakes!!!" He yelled through his megaphone. "Message?" Rudy's masseuse asked. "No I'm fine" he said kind of embarrassed by the idea of having someone wait on him. "Ready for you whenever Mr. Man" a girl said opening the door slightly. Before Rudy could say anything she was off. "Man sure is fast paced here huh Jorge?" Rudy asked. "My names not Jorge?" The masseuse said confused. Jorge was climbing the wall and making his way to the vents to see what was happening. Rudy walked out of his dressing room and saw there was a nearly perfect small replica of the Pas Rico City. "Ah perfect timing, as expected of Rudy man, now as you can see by this mini city, made by yours truly we can use this and these mini figures of everyone to explain each act out visually, amazing right!?" Stephen said. "Yeah.... impressive?" Rudy said not really sure what to think. Stephen laughed at his remark "your movie star material for sure".
"Alright Roger lets shot the first scene!" Stephen yelled. "Okay Rudy man from now on just follow our steps and we'll be done in no time, you'll do great" Roger said taking him over to the stage. "Alright where are my civilians!" Roger yelled into his megaphone. The set filled with people in seconds. "Hmm....okay....okay" Roger said into his earpiece. "Your all fired from this job go do something else!" He yelled. "Will fill them in on the green screen" He said to Rudy man. "Where's my villain!" He yelled. Moments later a lady wearing the clothes "The Drama Queen" wore stepped onto the stage. "Ah that brings me back" Rudy said nostalgically. "Alright in this scene all I want is a quick fight, no longer then 3 minutes, our actor here Shelly has choreographed the whole fight, just go off instinct like you usually do when you fight" Stephen said. Rudy nodded. "And......action!!!" Roger yelled starting the fight. "How many times do I tell you to stop saying action!" Stephen yelled. Jorge finally got into the vents and was on his way through them until he heard a familiar voice in a room. "Finally a plan is going right!" The voice said. "Rudy man suspects nothing sir, the first scene is going on as we speak" another voice said. "After a few more scene we will began, the plan to finally end Rudy man! HAHAHAHA!!!" The voice said. Jorge looked through the vent and saw it was Lord Darkheart. He let out a small cluck out of shock and some goons saw him. "It's Rudy's chicken!" A goon yelled. Jorge took off before they could get him. "Find that chicken!" Darkheart yelled. Back on the set the fight went as planned and Rudy seemed to have fun with it. "Brilliant! just brilliant, the moves, the feelings, the grace, it's all brilliant!" Stephen yelled. "I didn't do anything I just followed her moves and did what I would do in a real fight, she's the brilliant one" Rudy said making the girl blush. "Ready for the next scene?" Roger asked. "Yeah I'm ready" he said. A few scenes passed, Rudy drank tea, had a conversation with a dog and even went to the circus. "You sure this movie makes sense?" Rudy asked. "Rud, my star, my baby, so young and talented, don't worry about something like that you work your magic I'll work mine, k?" Stephen said. "Yeah okay". "Next scene will be a highlight of the movie, bring in......The rival!" Stephen yelled. A man walked out in a purple costume and a paper-mache head of Majestic man. He carried a cat with him. "Um..... Majestic man has a dog" Rudy said. "Who.....you mean hair guy?". "His names Majestic man, I can call the real one right now, I'm sure he would love to be in it" Rudy said. "Ah your so nice! But we don't need another person, this is the Rudy man movie not the Hair and Rudy man movie". "It's Majestic man". "Ah yes yes change that name and get rid of that cat he has a ferret" "dog" Rudy interrupted. "I mean dog!" Stephen said walking off. "Where is Jorge? Did he stay home or something?" Rudy thought to himself. Jorge has been secretly running through the vents begin chased by goons while trying to save Rudy. "Okay this fight will take place on a volcano, that circle in the middle is the lava so don't go into it" Roger said. Rudy nodded. "And....action!" Stephen yelled. Rudy was expecting a fight like last time but it seemed this actor was really into it. "Sir the first attempt has begun" a goon said to Darkheart. "Perfect, as soon as Rudy man walks anywhere in that circle a super flame will erupt from it and burn him to a crisp!" Darkheart yelled. "Mini cake sir?" A goon said. "Only if they are as good as your cookies" Darkheart said eating a few. The fight continued. "Man you really go all out huh? It's like your really trying to hurt me" Rudy man whispered to the actor. He didn't respond. "You okay?" Rudy asked but he couldn't talk, the man increased his attacks and was making Rudy step back more and more, closer and closer to the fire. Rudy was getting into it now and went a bit overboard when he grabbed the guy by the arm arm and sweeped his feet making him fall. Rudy got on the other side of him and the guy quickly got up but slipped and lost balance falling right into the circle. With a quick flash of heat the man was on fire. "Oh wow your wearing a fire suit, cool" Rudy said as the man was put out and taken off set. "That......was perfect! Next scene next scene!" Stephen yelled. The next scene was a villain throwing "fake" knifes at Rudy man with the 3rd one hitting him in the forehead but the scene was cut short when Jorge pulled the fire alarm while running away. The next few scenes kept failing over and over. "What's that director doing?! Kill him already!" Darkheart yelled eating more mini cakes. "Sir it seems we lost the chicken" a goon said. "How could you lose him?!" Darkheart yelled as Jorge appeared in the room. "No more games!" Darkheart yelled running after Jorge himself. "Okay the next scene is.....um...hang on..." Stephen said out of ideas. Just then Darkheart ran in behind Jorge. "Hey Jorge there you are!" Rudy said. "The next scene is the finale with Lord Darkheart" Stephen said. "Oh wow you look just like him, the costume, the hair, even the height!" Rudy said impressed. "Um...yes I knew I was born for this part when I auditioned, there was no competition" he said. "Okay let's ready the scene!" Roger yelled. "What do you think your doing?! I'm not supposed to fight!?" Darkheart yelled at Stephen. "Relax relax I got this" Stephen said giving Darkheart two gauntlets. "What can props do!?". "Their not props, these are sonic blast cannons, just click that button when your ready and hit Rudy man, he'll be lucky to get up with a few broken bones". "Excellent" Darkheart said evily. The next set is in a bigger room, follow me" Roger said taking Rudy to a room with a green screen all around it. "This is where the last fight will take place, make sure to make it good, oh and one last thing....." Roger said whispering to Rudy. "Okay everyone quite on set!" Stephen yelled. "Okay do this like all the other fights except at the very end Lord Darkheart will hit you square in the stomach with his "super burst attack"! Stephen said. "Got it" Rudy said. Jorge wanted to tell Rudy about everything but was stopped by Roger. Jorge was ready to attack Roger but after a minute Jorge went into the vents to see the fight from above. "And.....action!!!" Stephen yelled as the fight began. Darkheart went in hard with real pushed and kicks. "You want to play rough huh?" Rudy said having fun. Rudy attacked hard remembering that Roger said the actor had protection even though it was a lie. "This is harder then excepted" Darkheart said, feeling sore everywhere. Stephen put up three fingers to show they had three minutes until the signal to finish up. The three minutes were like ages to Darkheart as each attack hurt more and more. "Go!" Stephen worded with his lips as Darkheart smiled and clicked the button. The gauntlet began to shake as the power increased. "This is your end Rudy man!!!" Darkheart yelled as he punched Rudy as hard as he could but the gauntlet just broke on Rudy's chest. "My turn!" Rudy yelled as he slammed Darkheart hard in the ribs. He was launched to the wall and cracked it as he slid back to the ground. "Damn...you Rudy man" He said before going uncounsious. Stephen was speechless. "Cut!!!" Roger said. "Man he's sure a good actor, its like he wanted to really kill me" Rudy said. All Darkheart goons and Stephen had no clue what to do now. "What now?" "Your done for the day that was a very productive day, your such a great actor" Roger said. "Um,yeah...yeah you were amazing I'll pick you up tomorrow" Stephen said trying to playing off. Later that day back at home Rudy was on the phone with Roger. "Really?! So Stephen had to cut the film because of financial problems?!". "Yeah I'm afraid so" Roger said. "Well I guess it's a good thing, I want to stay just a hero not a movie star". Roger laughed "I knew you would say that". "Oh, one last question, you told me to take that final attack to finish Darkheart but Stephen didn't say anything, why not?" Rudy asked. "Oh I assumed he'd forget so I made sure to tell you". "Okay then it was fun working with you, I know one day you'll be a great director" Rudy said hanging up. "How did you idiots fail me again?!?!" Darkheart said yelling at Stephen and his goons while he was on crutches. "I don't know sir it should have worked those gauntlet's must have been sabotage!" Stephen said. "Like I haven't heard that before!!!" Darkheart yelled. "That's what y'all get.....for taking all my mini cakes" Roger said laughing from the other room.