Flying Too Close To The Sun

hey guys, this is my first ever story so it's probably a bit rubbish but just try it for a bit. any feedback would be cool so i can improve my writing.

Kathryn xx

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I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or maybe it was the right time, but just not for me. All I was doing was walking through town to meet a few friends at our favourite café, walk across a road and all of a sudden I’m surrounded by choirs of angels, fluffy white clouds and some big golden gates. Well, close enough. It looked a lot like earth, just sunnier.  “People” were walking around normally, the only thing was there was a small man, sat right by some gates on a little pedestal looking pretty bored. Odd. I walked over to him anyway because I had no idea what had happened. 

“Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me.” The little man looked up and I saw an old face. He looked so energised though, had a sort of glow around him, this golden glow, almost heavenly.

“Sure sweetheart, go ahead.” He grinned at me as though he knew exactly what I was about to ask, showing me gleaming white teeth.

“Erm, this is probably going to sound really stupid but I swear I was just crossing a road, so what am I doing here?” His grin widened at that, if that was possible. I could feel myself blushing because now I felt really stupid.

“Well, you might want to sit down for the answer.” He stood up and offered me his stool, which was a bit awkward seeing as he must be about four foot and I’m five foot nine. Slight difference there. I got as comfy as was possible on such a small seat and waited for him to begin. “Sweetheart, you’re dead.” My jaw dropped open. Dead? Was it possible? No way. I was only crossing a road so… I was crossing a road.

“No, you must be mistaken. I can’t die, I'm 16! I have my whole life ahead of me! What a waste of a life it is, was, both? I’ve been stuck at school for 12 years! 13 if you count nursery.  I'm young, I should be running around like a fool with the rest of my friends, doing stupid stuff…” I was babbling away. I just couldn’t take it in. This guy better not be messing with my mind. You can’t just go round telling people they’re dead for fun.

“Honey, shut up and listen. You got hit by a speeding car. Yes I know this because I have to know. I do know you’re young. But please, just calm down for a bit. Why don’t you come with me and we’ll see what we can sort out.” He pulled me up off the seat and dragged me through the gate. I was amazed at what I saw in front of me. It looked like something out of a film, a foreign city like Venice or Rome. It was so beautiful, picturesque even with its cobbled streets, corner cafés, tall old buildings, canals and rivers, scenic bridges and smooth gondolas. I must have gasped at the beauty beyond me because I could hear the small man chuckling quietly. I turned to look at him and he smiled at me. “I see you have calmed down a bit now. This place does that to you. I’ll need to get back to the gates pretty soon, but I know someone who can sort you out.” He pulls out a device from his pocket that looked like a tiny mobile phone, as small as a baby’s palm. I didn’t even notice him doing anything when all of a sudden there was a draft of wind from nowhere, followed by a shimmery cloud that stopped directly in front of us. I started looking around us to see if anyone was staring, but everybody seemed to be getting on with their lives. “Sophie this is Freddie. Freddie, Sophie here is a newbie so can you sort her out please whilst I get back to the gate.”

I turn back to the man from the gate to see him just about to walk off so I yell out, “Hey, can I ask where am I?” The man turned towards me and smiled.

His answer was simple, “Sweetie, this is heaven.” Then I passed out.