DRUG

Chapter~3B

   I turned my gaze to the direction that the voice was coming from. He stood there with a cocky smirk on his face, one hand shoved into his pocket. He pulled off an untidy appearance with his tie slackened from his collar and hair slightly tossed around his scalp. His eyes,although in the dimmed light, gave out an innocent achromatic colour that made it hard to familiarise the man before me and the one from earlier.

You're stronger than this Dani.

W-what are you doing here?" I asked impulsively.

"Well, it is my business ,isn't it?" He spoke, his words were smooth and effortless, his lips moved so subtly.

"I d-didn't know that you..I w-wasn't alone." I stumbled upon my words sheepishly.

   My heart sank in relief when the lift slid open in front of me before he could respond,coming to my rescue. I didn't hesitate to lift my leg in attempt to enter,neither did he hesitate to stop me from entering. His palm got a hold of my wrist. A shivery flinch by me was an impulsive response to his hold. Fighting his grip was a move I had wanted to make, then again, the curiosity of knowing what his next move would be outweighed it.

"Nate, no." I looked down at our point of contact and spoke between soft breaths.

"I won't hurt you, relax." He coaxed.

   His grip loosened and slowly, I was drifted closer to him by him. It was as if I had no feet myself,had I wanted to stop moving closer, I wouldn't. In a split second our bodies had collided and he placed a bittersweet kiss on my jaw. One followed the other and another succeeded the other until my teeth got a hold of my lower lip.

No!

I refused to be swept away by a wind as gentle as him.

"I don't want this." I took a step back and diffidently said. He chuckled at my empty confidence and took a step closer. Each step I took, he succeeded it,until my back collided with the cold wall that trapped me from escaping.

"Neither do I." His wry words left a breeze of warm minted air upon my face. "Can we stop talking now?"

His fingers navigated they're way to my sweet spots. I was losing my endurance like darkness in the light. He had me.

"N-nate ..." I tried to speak, but the pleasure clogged my lips. Numbness overtook my limbs as I had not the strength to disagree.

He crashed his lips into mine, alongside picking me up bridal style. Failed. I thought to myself. Failure. Nothing was in my power from that moment. The body wants what it wants,who is the heart to say otherwise?

It was his office I was carried to.

His desk I was thrown on.

Nothing superseded his touch, nothing ever does.

*

After every storm, there's a rainbow.

A dull rainbow shows up after a colourful storm. They say opposites attract.

   I felt his eyes on me as we both silently let the excitement of the moment fade into an awkward silence. The office became charged with tension and anxiety. All sorts of emotions erupted within me as I zipped my skirt up. Guilt,shame and regret to name a few. It was different from the other times we had done this. This time, I felt driven by anger, at the same time feeling compelled.

"you don't seem too okay." His slightly concerned voice tore through the silence.

"I doubt it would interest you how I felt." The words pierced their way out of my heart,leaving an exposed sensation to it.

He sighed intensely at my response before attempting to get hold of my shoulder.

"Don't." I winced away from his touch. "I need to get home."

"I'll give you a lift." He offered. I was tempted to deny his offer, until I saw the time and Chris' calls that I hadn't answered, including texts.

Text from Chris:

07h42

Hey, babe. You on your way? I need you to get me some stuff from the market, call me ASAP

Xoxo Chris

08h32

I'm trying to get hold of you, please answer your phone.

   If it was out of anger that he wrote that, I totally understood. My mind had become a battlefield of thoughts and words as I tried to put together exactly what I would begin to tell Chris.

My fingers found the necklace around my neck - priceless pearls,finely embroiled together,forming a beautiful and weightless chain - and fiddled impulsively with it.

This was the hereditary necklace from my mother's side,she carried it around her neck at all times. It seems as if the habit has rubbed off onto me hence it brings the guilt of the fact that I had forgotten the precise appearance of my mother into mind. I rested my head upon the window of Nates car, watching the miniature raindrops sliding down and conjoining with another until they left trails of wet lines on the window,lines I struggled to trace back as to where they started and originated from.

   Then it occurred to me, I could hardly tell where all this mess started off- looking back into my life,neither could I tell how to fix everything,let alone what to fix.

   My eyes had attempted to shut into sleep when the car slowed down in the driveway of the apartment I lived in. Inside was a man I had failed, waiting innocently just to love me, as flawed as I was. I sighed intensely as I opened the door of the car and collided with the natural shower of rain.

"Danielle!" Nate shouted in a moderate tone as he followed me into the rain. I raced for shade at the entrance way and reluctantly waited to hear him out.

"I thought we both wanted this." He uttered lightly . I could make up nothing but his masculine posture because of the absence of light where we stood. The lightbulb had burned out and not replaced for the third month currently.

So much for having a drunk for a landlord.

"No Nate, you wanted this." I replied while having to make sure I was audible enough for only him and I,yet maintaining the aggressiveness of the statement. Alonfside the anger was preserved fear of saying something that would click his wrong button. I knew how he could get.

"Then why didn't you stop me?" He asked.

Good question. I stood speechlessly for a while before turning to the door shamefully.

"Just please, leave me alone." I turned to him once more before twisting the handle.

A burden lifted off my shoulders, a heavier one awaiting.