My Demon Butlers { Kuroshitsuji Fanfiction }

Chapter XXIV. The Explanation and The Confession.

“My lady! My lady!”

I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was Ciel’s face in front of mine. Too close. But I just closed my eyes again because my head hurt.

“You’re awake.”

He removed himself from above my face and I just realized that I was laying with my head on his lap.

“You collapsed, I was afraid that you wouldn’t get up for a very long time.”

I wanted to sit up, but Ciel pushed me back on his lap. I surrendered to the rest that his lap gave me.

“Just rest for a while. You must be really tired.”

I nodded, thinking about the memory just seen. Was it a real one? Then why wasn’t I able to remember anything about it. Why had it fade away? There were so many questions in my head that the world started to spin around.

“You know the truth now.” said Ciel who stroked through my hair.

I opened my eyes, looking at his chin because he was looking up to the sky. He was avoiding my face.

“I don’t know what the truth is anymore.” I answered him simply.

“Just must me angry, aren’t you?” he said sighing.

“I am not angry.” I said, still looking at his chin. He looked like a kid, even though he wasn’t anymore. He was a demon. A full bloomed demon. A kid whose fate was differently from what everyone expected. He turned into a demon when he was young, grew up as a demon, stopped growing to stay like this forever.

“Then what are you feeling?” he asked me as he looked me in the eye.

The wind was blowing through his hair and I wondered since when my heart had been beating so fast. His eye looked at me, full blue like the sea, and I was afraid to lie to him. Something inside of me changed when I dreamed or memorized about it. Something inside me told me that, something had changed.

“I don’t know what to feel. I don’t even know what to say.”I answered him simply while I kept on looking at him.

There fell something on my face and I soon realized that it was a white feather, falling from the sky. It felt like it was burning on my skin so I quickly threw it off me. The colour white frightened me.

“My lady, there are some things that I couldn’t tell you.”

“There are too many things that you didn’t tell me.”

“I apologize.”

“Don’t.” I said.

I sat up and moved away from Ciel a little, it was hard for me to look at him like before now I knew.

“Tell me everything, Ciel. Not only about meeting me, but everything that happened to you and Sebastian too.” I ordered him.

“As you wish.” he said.

And the story started.

“It was actually not so long after I had turned into a demon. Sebastian was stuck with me and every single thing he did and said, I felt he didn’t actually wanted to be next to me, but he just had to. I didn’t care, my head was filled with things that were way more important to me than a butler who didn’t like his master. So we travelled a lot to places where there were things to do that interested me. Sebastian never complained, but stopped showing the emotions to me like he did before. But he suddenly showed interest in me again, when we noticed that I was still growing while I wasn’t supposed to anymore. Once you turn into a demon, you remain the person that you were once you were changed. Sebastian and I decided to go search for the answer on that question. We soon found it back in London. It was because my body wasn’t allowed to stay in the same state as before, and that was why I was changed, but along with my body, also my soul and character changed. Turned out that I started to long for a human soul, a true human soul. I was turning into a real demon and Sebastian noticed that too. So we started searching for voices that were calling out to us because they wanted us to form a contract with them. But it took us a long time before we found a good and tasty human soul that we could consume.