Cries of Hope [Punk Narry]

Chapter Nine

Harry's POV

Niall has called over fifty times. Maybe he does care about me. Who am I kidding? No he doesn't. I'm just a charity case to him. I'm basically nothing, I'm just a stupid geek. God, how could I have been so stupid? I am such an idiot. I don't deserve to be in the world anymore. Maybe I should kill myself, no one would care. Niall wouldn't care.

I stand up and make my way towards the bathroom. I open the old green door and take a seat on the toilet. I open up the drawer filled with my many blades. I pull out a shiny one and press it onto my wrist gently.

Do I want to do this? I still have Liam. Wait, no I don't. Everyone hates me. Liam was only being my friend out of pity. I seriously have no one. It doesn't matter anyway, no one will ever love someone like me.

My mother has also given up on me. I'm just a depressed dork with a blade. I can't do this anymore.

I remember the fairy tales that my mum used to read to me every night. They all ended with their happily ever after. If only it was that simple. The prince always gets the princess.That's why it could never work. I don't need a silly princess, I need my prince, Niall.

Now I'm just talking crap. I'm not a prince. I don't live in a castle made of sugar. I'm not happy all the time. Little creatures don't sing to me. I'm nothing.

What if I do kill myself? I won't wake up by my Prince Charming pressing his lips onto mine. I won't be in a better place. But at least it'll be better than this.

It's decided, I'm going to do this. I'm going to end my life. I'm going to end the suffering.

I grab my phone from the counter and dial Niall's phone number. He quickly answers.

"Oh my god Harry, you're alright." he sighs in relief. This is going to be so hard.

I bite my lip and take in a deep breath. "No Niall, I'm not. I just called to say goodbye." I mutter before hanging up the phone.

I feel a tear roll down my cheek, landing on the phone screen. I'm going to miss him so much. He's my everything. No, I don't love him, yet. I never will either. I won't have a chance to.

I walk out of the bathroom and take a seat by my desk. I open my drawer and grab my notebook and pen. I write a note for my mum, Liam, and Niall.

Dear Mum,

I'm sorry that I wasn't the son you always wanted. I really did try to become the man who you wanted me to be. I hope you forgive me for everything I put you through. By the time you read this it'll probably be too late. I wish you'll be happy that I'm finally out of your life for good. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. Once I do this I know you'll be happy and at peace. Thank you so much for everything. Take care, and follow your dreams. I love you, Mummy.

Sincerely,  Harry

I feel a tear slide down my cheek and land on the paper. "Please don't forget me, Mum." I mumble quietly to myself.

Next is Liam's note. I want to thank him for making me feel like someone cares. At least he was nice to me, unlike all those other jerks.

Dear Liam,

I want to thank you for being so nice to me these past few days. Even if it was through pity, it was still the kindest thing you could have done for me. I finally felt like someone cared about me. Funny thing is, I thought I could trust you with anything. Although I've only known you for a couple of days, it felt like we've known each other for years. It was like you were my best friend. I didn't have to keep quiet around you to avoid a beating. That means a lot to me. So thank you again. I hope everything works out for you.

Sincerely, Harry

Lastly, Niall. Oh my dearest Niall. Even if I was just a charity case to him, he made me feel safe. He made me feel protected.

I write down the note quickly and shove it into the envelope. I stick it inside my pocket and smile lightly. This isn't going to be so bad. It'll be best for everyone. They won't have to worry about me anymore. They'll be free.

I hate knowing the fact that I'm the one dragging them down. I'm the one keeping them from what they want to do. I'm the darkness when they so desperately search for the light. I just ruin everything. Now I know why everyone hates me. Not because I get good grades, but because I keep everyone from achieving their goals.

My mother has been trying to get a promotion at work lately. She got the offer two years ago, but she declined it because she had to pick me up from school everyday. She doesn't pick me up anymore because she has to work two jobs to pay rent and put food on the table. If I were out of the picture, she wouldn't need two jobs. She'd have her promotion and she'd be very happy. I just ruin everything for her. Now it's my job to fix it.

Same with Liam. He could have been popular. He could have been a normal lad, but he decided to be my friend. Because of me, everyone sends nasty glares at Liam. They throw things at him. It's like they're treating him how they treat me. That isn't right. He shouldn't have to go through that. He's a good lad who cares about  people's feelings.

What Niall said was one hundred percent true as well. I am ruining his reputation. He's big man on campus; I'm the dork on campus

I just drag everyone down, that's why this is the prefect solution. It'll be better this way. It won't have to be sad. Everyone will finally be happy. That's a good feeling. I'll be the cause of everyone's happiness for once.

I slowly walk into the kitchen. I open the medicine cabinet and grab my bottle of pills. I used to take anxiety medicine when I was younger. I fumble with the bottle before dumping the pills into the palm of my hand. I grab a cup and put it under the sink. I turn the knob and let the water fall into the cup. I take in a deep breath before shoving all of the pills into my mouth and swallowing them.

I walk into the bathroom again and grab the blade. I press it onto my wrist gently. Everything's going to be alright.

I hear the door downstairs open. It's now or never. I quickly drag the blade across my wrist. I stare in aw as the crimson liquid falls from it. I have to go deeper.

"Harry! Get out of there now!" I hear Niall banging on my bathroom door. It's not like he cares anyway.

"I have to do this, Niall." I say quietly. I quickly run the blade across my wrist again, deeper. The blood falls at a fast pace. I did it.

I feel myself getting dizzy. I collapse onto the floor and shut my eyes. What's done is done.

"Harry, no!" I hear Niall bust the door open, but it's too late. I drift off into the darkness, thinking of all the happy times Niall and I shared.

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Oh, I'm terrible. Oops. Well there you go, another chapter. What will happen? Hmmmmmmm. Oh well. Okay, yeah. Well Bye! I love you!