Can You Save Me?

chapter - 1

It's funny how my whole life has changed over the summer. I was once the happy social girl, now i'm the sad girl who sits alone all the time. My once bright, beautiful brown eyes are now dull and full of darkness. I've lost all of my friends and don't want to make new ones. My hair that was always done and not it's dull and limp on my shoulders. I don't even put make up on like i used to. I don't even care how i look. I wanted my life to end more than anything. I'm making my way into the hellhole of a school i have and i was wearing a normal pair of jeans with a large long sleeved t-shirt, and some some all white knock off keds. I had my hair up in a ponytail and i was moping around school. I continuously heard girls talking about a new guy in school, but i chose to ignore it. I made my way to homeroom and i sat in my assigned seat in the back next to the window. I plugged in my headphones to my broken red ipod nano. It was extremely ghetto i'll admit. I played Pierce the Veil. It was my favorite song, Caraphernelia. I looked out of hte window and zoned out a little. Everything was always racing through my head and I hated it. The day went by slowly and it was eventually lunch. I always had my headphones in and made my way to the lunchroom. I didn't even want to eat because I felt so disgusted with myself. I ended up running out to the hallway and throwing up in the trashcan. thinking about it just made me sick to my stomach. I felt so dirty and it didn't matter how many showers i took. I felt myself getting a headache and I turned around quickly and ran into someone.

"Fuck I'm sorry," I said as I looked up. I saw pretty hazel eyes. I was almost shocked at how beautiful they were. I looked away quickly and continued walking. That was probably the most awkward thing I've ever done. There was a football game tonight. I would use that as an excuse to get out of the house. I got home, but they were already there. I forgot they were going to start doing work at the house today I prayed. I stepped inside and I cod faintly hear them in the back. I hurried upstairs and changed into a t-shirt with "Smoky Hill Buffs" written on it. I heard the door open and I didn't move fast enough they already heard me.

I woke up to my startling phone alarm. I was naked and confused as usual I began to cry and took a shower. The droplets of water blended in with my tears. I put my hair in a messy ponytail and put in some jeans with the t-shirt I was gonna wear yesterday. I slipped on some random shoes and ran out of the house. I walked today and I was dreading school more than ever. I walked in and everyone was socializing and having a good time. I got to my classroom and realize I forgot my headphones. Now I was forced to listen to these stupid people. I played with my phone and it died eventually. I didn't have a chance to charge it. I looked around I never really paid attention of the people in my class. Most were thirsty girls trying to get with the guys who played sports. Then I saw the hazel eyed boy walk in. I felt instantly embarrassed and looked down. The teacher started the class and we took notes for the whole period. It was eventually time to go and I packed up my things. The day passed by slowly and it was finally lunch. I sat down outside under a tree doing homework and it was finally time to go to class. I had PE next and to say I hated PE was an understatement.

we didn't know what we were going to play yet. The teacher said there would be two captains.

"Austin," the PE teacher said. I looked up and saw hazel eyes step up. I looked down immediately and was glad we didn't make eye contact. "and Jessica." they went up in front of everyone and Jessica picked her boyfriend first making her best friend jealous.

"Reagan," his deep voice rumbled. I felt those nervous butterflies in my stomach and made y way over next to him. when I got behind him people were mumbling and someone didn't even know who I was. our group was mostly guys which made me a little uncomfortable. we were playing volley ball and i was a little nervous. i was pretty good at volleyball since i used to play, but i didn't want to screw anything up. We started playing and we were winning. It was my turn to get in the game and i was a little scared. I was in the back and i was terrified Austin was in the line behind me. the ball came to me and i hit it over. I was pretty happy. I hit it a couple of times and it was finally time for me to get out.

"Nice Job," Austin said smiling at me. His teeth were almost too white and his smile took my breath away. I smiled slightly and looked down. The game ended and we went to the locker rooms. I washed my hair then changed in the bathroom and came out.

"Hey ," this girl Lindsay said to me as she pushed me up against the wall, "Stay away from Austin okay?" I raised my eyebrow.

"I've never even talked to him so i don't know what you're talking about," I said as she let me go.

"Watch yourself," she said as her and her stupid friends walked away. I rolled my eyes and collected my things. My wet hair was getting my shoulder soaked. I regreted it as soon as I got outside. I sighed and saw a farmiliar car outside. I squinted my eyes and my heart almost stopped as I saw my brother, Caleb. He was in the army and was home. He grinned and I ran up to him and wrapped my arms around him. I felt the wet tears rolling down my cheeks.

"I missed you so much. I'm so glad you're okay," I said breathlessly. I held him tighter rather than let go. He chuckled and pulled away a little so we were both looking at each other. He was so much more buff than i remember and he had gotten a scar under his eye. I traced over it with my finger. He wiped my tears away. He opened the door to his car for me and I sat down. I looked and saw Austin looking right at me. My brother started talking and i looked over at him.

"How have you been?" he asked smiling.

"Good," i said smiling slightly. I felt bad lying to him. "How about you?"

"Tired," he said smiling slightly.

"I'm so glad you're okay," I said smiling. He smiled and he took me to go get frozen yogurt. We talked and laughed. I don't remember ever being even this close to happy in a long time. I surprisingly saw Austin walk in with some of his friends. I looked down quickly and acted like i didn't see him.

"Hey Ray," Caleb said, "Are you ok?" I smiled slightly and sunddenly felt sick to my stomach. I got up and ran to the bathroom and threw up. "Ray!" Caleb kept shouting as he banged on the door. I felt myself give up. I'm never happy and i don't want to be like this. I hate it. I hate myself. I washed up and I saw a worried brother outside waiting for me. "Ray are you ok?" He asked. I smiled and nodded. "Here let's take you home," he said putting his arm around my shoulder and leading me out. I turned and made slight eye contact with Austin and i looked down before leaving. Thankfully, my dad's co-workers weren't going to be here. Sometimes i wish i had friends to stay the night with or just talk to. I realized it was friday and i was happy. My brother insisted that i go lay down. I did and i fell asleep and for some reason i dreampt about Austin. He was saving me.