I'll Leave You With The Outtakes // Phan

Part 5

PJ and Chris don't give him a chance to be emotional, or talk to Phil. Chris disappears in search of Dan's roommate and PJ drags him to the hospital after that. To the closest A&E, oh god, Dan hates people touching him and pressing cold metal to his skin and making him breathe in out in out so consciously. By the time the nurse takes his blood pressure and heart rate and temperature, Phil and Chris join them. Both looking a bit green, but the nurse doesn't look too worried, and Dan's fine now. He can walk, stand, fill out the medical forms.

Maybe it will all just be a freak accident and he'll get to go home. Then there's a sterile room, and a stupid gown and Dan is describing all of his symptoms to a doctor.

She identifies herself as Dr. Amy Valdez, but Dan can't think of her as anything but a doctor who's keeping him from laughing with his friends. She nods and jots down notes as he talks, small lines appearing around her pasted smile the longer he goes on. PJ casts glances from the doctor to Dan and back, he looks uncomfortable without Chris next to him (because Chris opted to stay in the waiting room). But what Dan really doesn't understand is why Phil is here. Why Phil is the one who sat in the seat beside him, not PJ.

If Dan wasn't describing what he feels in his hand and letting the doctor examine his fingers, he would remind Phil that they aren't on camera and tell him to stop acting like it.

"How long has all this been going on, any idea?"

Dan tries to think back,"The first time I dropped something was in America, actually. It was sometime in November."

"No,"Phil interrupts, which Dan considers to be rather rude,"That was the first time you dropped something, yeah. But it started before tatinof."

The doctor raises her eyebrows at the two of them,"Our tour,"Dan grumbles, letting Phil continue.

"In April we argued because I couldn't read the grocery list you left, and then I think it was—in May maybe...you actually complained about not being able to grip the controller tight enough with your left hand when you were playing Halo."

The memories and the doctor's pursed lips are both equally disturbing, Dan shifts in his plastic chair,"I guess—April then...would be when it started."

The doctor nods, eyes looking a little clouded over from deep thought. She turns from Phil back to Dan,"I'm going to have a nurse come in and take a quick blood draw, and then she'll have you step out for a urine sample."

Her smile is attempting to be comforting, but Dan can sense the tightness behind her words. He nods nevertheless, Dan's so tired and it's late and he just wants to be out of the hospital and on the couch in his lounge watching anime until three am.

The nurse isn't the usual chipper personality, she looks as if she needs a grande espresso as she goes through the motions of jabbing a needle into Dan's arm and filling a vial up with dark red. The entire process makes Dan feel slightly queasy, he doesn't enjoy seeing his own blood sucked out of him. And then she explains what she needs for the urine sample, and tells Dan where the bathroom is and hands him a cup and a plastic bag. With Phil and PJ sitting there watching him Dan feels so stupid and self-conscious. Finally, when he gets back, the nurse thanks him wearily and is gone. By the time Dr. Valdez comes back in Dan is sure he's going to pass out on the floor of the exam room.

Dr. Valdez's smile this time is smaller than before, and Dan is panicking. He has to force himself to think, the doctor is tired too, there's nothing wrong. He'll be okay. Soon they'll tell him to be more careful and send him home and Dan will wake up to his arguments with Phil and to more endless tours that force him to act like he loves his flatmate.

He's still hungry, maybe Phil will make pancakes, because that's one thing that Phil always still does for him. Dan will go home and have late night Delia Smith pancakes with Chris and PJ—and Phil will stop looking at him like he's dying.

It's quiet for what feels like eternity, the soft tick of the clock on the wall above the door resounding in the silence.

"I'd like to run a few tests," she says finally. "Just standard procedure for the symptoms you have. An MRI and an EMG test most likely. I assume you know what an MRI is?"

Dan nods, of course he does. "Alright, that won't take long, and then we'll possibly conduct an electromyography test, or an EMG. Then, I assure you, you can be on your way."

"Alright," Dan mumbles. Even though he's so damn tired, it's not like Dan has a choice.

The doctor nods. "Alright, then. Let's get on with it."

-

"The results of the tests will take a couple of days at most," Dr. Valdez says when they're all finally done, "We'll let you know."

Dan rubs at the sticky spots on his hand where electrodes had been stuck to his skin, and tries to muster enough energy to act okay. He steps forward, shaking her hand clumsily,"Thank you, Doctor."

Tired as he is, Dan knows that something big is going on. Most patients who walk into the Accident and Emergency after stumbling don't end up getting needles jabbed into the muscles in their arms to test nerve conductivity. And most clumsy accidents don't result in MRI's. Even if he passes off the tests as routine, he doesn't miss the way Phil's eyes flicker towards him, wild with fear.

-