Drowning

Second Opinions

It had been a week of long days and even longer nights. Maggie came home two days after Emmett's last appearance and Mark had dropped by a few times. I never told either of them about the breakup, they just knew. I decided that afternoon that I wasn't going to sit around and feel sorry for myself, but instead got up and went for a walk along the beach.

The cold wind hit my face roughly, but I enjoyed the smell of the lake water invading my senses, making me feel less alone in all of this. I wanted to believe that I would be okay after that day, but my subconscious had other ideas. My dreams revealed my true emotions on the subject, making me wish I could sleep less and read more. That's all I had been doing in my free time at home. I was on break for another two weeks, so there was no studying to be done and little thought put towards schoolwork. I had finished the book for English within the first week, and all of my other classes gave us the break to ourselves after exams. To say the least, I realized how much of my days Emmett took up and found I was extremely bored without him.

"Grace," Maggie walked into my room one day, sitting next to me on the floor while I was slouched against the window, which is where I had been for the last week. "You need to get out, girl. You can't let this ruin you." I know that Mags was just trying to help, but she didn't understand. "I'm not letting it ruin me." I told her, putting my book down and fully facing her. "I'm just not letting it consume me." She seemed confused at my statement, so I tried to explain. "I'm not going to spend my time crying over him. He made the decision for the both of us, and no matter how much I hate it, I have no choice but to live with it." She was about to say something else, but I cut her off, not fully done yet. "That doesn't mean that I'm not hurting. I miss him every day. Our time may have seemed short in the long run, but I told him things that I've only shared with you and Mark. He told me things that I don't think anyone besides his dad knows about. Every day with him seemed better than the last. I've never been able to escape reality like I did with him. His laugh still sounds in my ears and I swear I can still feel his heartbeats under my palms. I miss his smile, and his way of reading me better than I can myself. When I look out onto the lake I swear I see his eyes looking back at me, but I know that none of this is real, so I read, and walk, and listen to my music too loudly, but I will not let him pull me under."

Maggie looked at me, stood up, and hugged me hard. I had allowed a few tears to slide down my face as I talked, realizing just how much the time Emmett and I shared together meant. But life was bigger than that, and this breakup would not be detrimental, though it might hinder me a bit along the way. Maggie stood up and found a place on my bed, motioning for me to keep reading, understanding that her being in the same room was enough to make me feel better. I smiled at her and picked up my book. After finding the place I last left off I continued to distract myself from the pain a little longer.

~Emmett~

I never believed the bullshit that the books and movies said about the man after breakups. I always laughed when he broke down and realized that he had lost something great and went crawling back to the girl that wasn't worth his time in the first place. The only problem was that I wasn't laughing right now.

The day I broke it off with Grace I was hesitant to do it. I was afraid she would hate me and would never forgive me. I could hardly look at her and stormed out saying things that I don't even remember and I doubt made sense, but I left none the less.

I didn't slowly descend into missing Grace; I fell off of a cliff. By the end of that day I regretted the whole thing, but Joe took my phone and told me that it was just because it was so fresh. The next day I found myself sitting alone in my room looking at all of the pictures I had taken of her when she wasn't paying attention, lost in the waves, the lights, or the story she was consumed in, all while I was watching her. The third day I tried to call her, but her phone was dead and I was led straight to voicemail. The sound of her voice made me choke on my words, so I hung up and tried to go back to sleep. The fourth day I got drunk. I don't even remember everything I did, but when I woke up on the fifth day we were out of all of our alcohol and my eyes burned red. On the sixth day Joey tried to get me out of the apartment, but I refused him. I yelled at him for convincing me to do this and told him it was his fault I felt like this in the first place. He didn't defend it or deny it, so I threw an empty bottle at him and haven't seen him since.