The Star In Our Hands(lesbian story)[#Wattys2016]

Chapter 10

I was feeling bad for the entire situation.I had messed everything up and now it was all upsetting me.I had to make up
for them both,Viv and Angel.

I was holding Viv's hand but she wasn't reacting anymore,I could tell she was sad or confused but maybe anger was mixed up with these feelings too.I was about to lean my head on her shoulder when she stood up,took her bag and started walking away without even turning her gaze on me.

"Viv!" I shouted but she pretended to be deaf so she made her way to the end of the forest.

I started crying but I didn't stand up.I could totally understand it was my fault and I tried to see how I would react if I were her.I would have been angrier,uncontrollable and I wouldn't want to see her again as those words I said were too cruel for a person who loves me more than I even love myself.

If I wanted you here I would have asked you to come.

Those words were haunting me.Why would I ever say that to her.I always wanted her to be with me.But the way I felt for Angel was different.For some reason I wanted some privacy between the two of us.I wanted to let things flow and see what happens but Viv was actually an obstacle in this situation.

I stayed there,feeling useless and incapable to do something right in my life.I wanted to be the sunset but I could never be,as long as the light was missing from my life.

I took my phone and placed it next to my leg as the music started playing.

Oh the bridge was pulled back up Into the sky

How time did fly for you

Once I lost my brother in the blink of an eye

Oh the web was spun it held me on the line

One to kiss and steal one to drink and beg

Oh pull me up beyond the river's edge

How time did fly for you

My eyes had created a river on my t-shirt but the cloth wouldn't let it go on with it's way to the sea,it was absorbing it,like I was absorbing life from others.

I wasn't worth having friends,I was a failure.All I did was take my phone and call Viv,I needed to apologize.

She definitely saw the call,she always has her phone on her, but this time she wouldn't answer.I could tell she was doing it intentionally but I could understand her.

After that I called Angel,who didn't react the same way as Viv.She did answer.

"Hey." she answered with a formal and serious voice.

When I heared her I started crying more and feeling more depressed.All she did was sigh,maybe she was sorry for me,maybe she was just angry.

"Enough is enough Anastasia.Either you stop now or I'm just hanging up."

I forced the tears in me and stop crying with a huge gulp that sounded more like a burp.

"Ew,did sadness cause you burping?" she joked.

"It was a gulp."

"That's what we call it now."

"Hey,can I explain though?Are you angry with me?"

"I am,but not so much that I won't let you explain yourself."

"Thanks..." I left a sigh.

"So,well" I continued," I'm sorry that Viv came to ruin the whole thing,I was having such a nice time with you and...I just couldn't avoid it,it would be too rude.But after you left I told her off for coming uninvited and we had a fight,so now we're obviously not talking."

"I didn't want to ruin your friendship,sorry."

"I did ruin it,you didn't.But she's very jealous of you and every girl that kind of...you know,gets closer to me."

"How come?She's just your friend."

"Sister." I corrected her.

"Same thing." she laughed a little.

"Well,she doesn't see me just like her sister..."

"Is she gay?"

I hesitantly agreed,being a little scared of telling her because you never know,maybe she could propagate bad rumours and put our friendship in even more danger.I regretted telling her for a second.

"Can you promise me that you won't tell anyone?"

"I promise."

I sighed in relief and I told her it's time to go back home as it was getting dark in the forest and it wasn't the safest option for a sixteen year-old girl to stay alone in the woods after dawn.

After saying goodbye,I hung up,took my belongings and drove home.

When I got in,I saw my parents watching a movie,I headed to them,gave them a kiss and went to my room,as always.

I was pretty sad so I decided to listen to red hot chili peppers to cheer up.Every song reminded me of Angel though.As a result,I stopped the music and desperately tried to call Viv again.It was half past eleven already and maybe she was sleeping but I didn't care,I needed her badly.

It was calling for a while but the moment I was ready to hang up,she answered the call.

"Hey...." I whispered sadly.She didn't say a word but I could hear her breathing.

"I miss you Viv,I'm sorry for everything."I started a conversation with myself but she was listening from the other side of the phone.

"I...I love you and I never ever meant to say that I don't want you here,cause...damn,I want you here with me forever,I can't get enough of your jokes,your beautiful face and your silly flirts.Please Viv,forgive me." I apologized.

She sniffed her nose.
She was crying.