How Boys Speak

Clyde Speaks: Having an affair with a married person?

Clyde Speaks: Having an affair with a married woman?

Okay so I know most of you guys think I'm not the most... decent of guys out there, which is completely true. However, when or if I do get married I think I'll be a motherfucking faithful bastard.

So for a while I've been browsing through the internet looking for a topic. So I decide to go look through online ads and I click on the "casual meetup" section. There are literally hundreds of adverts that get posted a day from married people wanting "brief romances". Bitch, you are married, if you need a romance use your freaking hands!

Honestly, I don't understand why people have affairs.  Now I'm not talking about the people who cheat in relationships because truth is in a year or two you won't give a fuck. You should THANK them for cheating while you're still courting because then you actually have the chance to dump their ass.

I'm also not talking about the abusive husband or psychotic wife who might literally drive you to cheat; I'm talking about average married folk who feel the need to bang everyone in the whole freaking world.

Nobody held a gun to their heads and said:

"Listen you asshole, if you don't marry me I'm chopping of your ding dong?"

So why be the complete moron and do it? Why not get a divorce, free your ballsack and BOOM! You can now hump as much as you want.

I mean it's not just a 2 minute decision here; you don't like a girl's boobs and then decide to marry her. Marriage is a big fucking choice.

You should see these adverts; they were pretty pathetic and desperate.

"34 year old married guy looking for a quick f*ck"

"45 year old married woman wanting to suck your" Yeah you can complete that sentence in your head. ;)

"21 year old guy looking for cute girls. Message me on Skype. <3 Roger"

So I thought why not troll around with these married people at least maybe make them think twice about cheating anyway!

Hope you enjoy!

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First Advert:

Married male seeking erotic sensual daytime encounter with a married female. Only woman, please. No gays or bisexuals.

Not looking to change my situation or yours. Sane and discreet. Must be attractive.

 Athletic muscular body, handsome face. A sensual erotic well h*ng lover with stamina and a desire to please.

I obviously phone his as a gay guy.

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*Ring Ring*

Ben: Hello?

Clyde: Hey hun! I got your ad in---

*Dead line*

Hahaha as soon as he noticed I was a guy he cut the call.

Ten Minutes Later:

*Ring Ring*

Ben: Hello?

Clyde: So like why did you cut the call baby!

Ben: Piss off.