twisted love

Chapter 21

I'm starting to cry. How can she stop loving me did she ever loved me. I guess I will never know. It's 5 am and all I have done is cry. It really hurts like really hurt. I'm in love. I'm paying for a ring that now I don't have any one to give too. It's now 8 am and I have too work in two hours. I got up and got ready. I'm at work now and my manager told me she needs to talk to me. I went to the office "hey, what's up". "They need you to go to Brooklyn and work there" reply my manager. "Oh, that's cool" I reply. "You don't have too do it and it's going to be for more then a month, think about it and let me know tomorrow" reply my manager. I started to work, thinking Should I do it. Would it make everything easier. This are not question more like statements. I'm going to go because this way my mind is distracted. I don't have to think about love. I got out of work and went home. "Mom I'm going to go to work in Brooklyn and I'm going to stay there" I said to my mom when I got home. "Okay son, just come and visit us" reply my mom. "I am because I got to come back and pay rent" I reply. I walk in my room and just started crying. I want to end my life. This can't be happening to me. Why Kat? Why? I don't deserve this. I felt a sleep crying. My alarm then went off and I have to get ready work. I got to work and the first thing my manager did was give me the stare and I just shook my head up and down with a sad face. I have to call the jewelry store and tell them to cancelled the ring hopefully I remember on break. deep down inside I don't want to be here or in this world for that matter but I have to be here. I got out of work and went to the Mineola train station and no thinking on what to do. It's close to Kat house but I wont go to her house. I kept thinking that I should just go to her house and ask for an explanation but it's kinda late. It's now 12 am and I'm a block down from Kat house. I see someone in front of me walking a dog but it's dark I can't see who it is. As I got closer to this person I got a feeling of love, of anger. I look at my phone and when I'm getting close to this person I look and it's Kat. I continue to walk and not say anything at all. She hasn't said anything either. I want to turn around and beat her up but it's not worth it to go to jail for her. I'm two blocks away and I just feel like crying. I can't take it anymore, my tears just came out and I can't stop it. I just want to kill my self. I'm going back to the train so I can do it. I can't take this feeling anymore. I'm going to jump in front of a train because I know it will kill me.