Love Me, I Dare You

Chapter 11 - Lucia

I've never been the type that enjoys clubbing.

For a bit, it could be fun. I could enjoy my time around my friends, I could even have a drink or two. If I felt safe enough, I could let my guard down and I could actually have fun whenever we went clubbing.

I wasn't in the mood for it and the last thing I wanted was to go clubbing but when the girls noticed my sulking mood, they made it their mission to convince me. They didn't want to let me go home alone to face Olivia when Afri wasn't there yet. I didn't tell them exactly what had happened, it was Olivia's privacy and I wasn't about to tell anyone anything that she'd tell me, but I did tell them that we had an argument, that she was snappy and angry. So they dragged me to a club, a club where Jessica was meant to meet Uriel but she saw him flirting with a girl so she didn't want to be around him, she wasn't dealing with any of it so she turned around and ignored him.

I was having fun. More fun than I've had in a really long time. Lately, everything had been work, work, uni, work, and repeat. Although the girls had asked to meet and do stuff for fun, I had been so focused on working, on Julieta coming back, on what it would mean to us, where would she stay, what it would be like if we wanted to give our relationship another go... there was so much, my mind was so full of things I didn't want to think about that I was grateful for every minute I had where I didn't have to think about any of it. For example, the time I spent with Olivia.

I found myself actually enjoying the time we spent together. I found myself wanting to spend more time with her, wanting to get to know her. Olivia offered pleasant company, offered me a little bubble where I didn't have to worry about what was to come a few days down the line. Olivia offered me a little space where I could just be without the anxiety of all the things that would need fixing and mending and— I was holding onto that. Very tightly.

And it was confusing.

It was so irritably confusing that I tried everything in my power to throw myself into whatever so that I wouldn't have a single minute of silence to think about how confusing all of this actually was.

I was in a bit of a pickle, sort of. When Olivia offered this stupid idea, I wasn't aware that Olivia could act and behave like a normal human being. See, I know how fucked up that sounds but the Olivia that I knew was closed off, selfish, conceited and overall bitchy- I never thought that if I ever gave her the chance, she'd prove me wrong... unfortunately, I was starting to think that she just might.

At first, I couldn't understand why Olivia seemed to resent her parents the way she did, why she kept refusing to see them, pushing them away when they kept trying to be around her and although I still didn't know why I was at least trying to understand Olivia's side. Fair enough, I didn't know much but from the little she had told me so far, I could tell that she resented them a great deal and I could also tell that it hurt her to feel that way.

I don't think Olivia to be a bad person, I don't think she was purposely hurting people, if anything, I've started to think that perhaps Olivia was so afraid of hurting people and herself that whenever something happened, she'd distance herself from it, she'd find other ways to deal with her pain, hence the partying, the drinking and the one night stands. I thought I was starting to see her differently, I thought that I was starting to understand her a little bit more but then she went and snapped at me.

I had never seen Olivia snap at anyone. I've seen her leave, I've seen her run away and lick her wounds with alcohol and parties. I've seen her deflect and come back with a flirty smirk, presenting that nothing ever happened... so the fact that she snapped, left me a little confused.

"Get out of your head," A deep voice brought me back to the club. I looked up from my glass to find deep brown eyes staring back at me. It was Isaac, Leslie's friend who also happened to be very gay. The only boy I actually felt comfortable dancing with and we had been dancing together the whole night, I liked that he didn't make fun of the fact that I had two left feet and that he had to guide me through the whole thing. Here and there though, I'd take a break and my mind would instantly take me back to her.