Love Me, I Dare You

Chapter 17 - Lucia

Ask me what the fuck I'm doing, see if I know.

I was supposed to break up with Olivia. I was supposed to take the way out Afri had offered us both. I was supposed to stay away, not ask her to stay closer but the moment I thought she was going to leave, I felt a rush of panic through my body and I couldn't— I couldn't let her go without at least trying to stop her.

I didn't want to think about what could or would happen when the month was over and Julieta was back. I didn't want to think about whatever this was being over.

It wasn't like it was part of my plans, to feel any sort of way towards her. Fair enough, the bet, the deal, it was a stupid idea but I never thought that it would lead to me getting to know another side of her. To be honest, I didn't even think about Olivia being much more than the arrogant and materialistic woman she pretended to be. I wasn't counting on her being considerate and making me breakfast before work or uni. I wasn't counting on her picking me up when I finished a really late shift so I wouldn't have to walk home at night. Olivia accompanying me just so I wouldn't feel alone. I wasn't counting on her having a soft and compassionate side. And although I kind of assumed that physically she was more than capable of pleasing me... I wasn't expecting my body to react to her the way it did. I wasn't expecting to feel like I craved her whenever she was near, whenever our fingers would touch, whenever she'd slightly glance at my lips
— I wasn't counting on feeling as though it was her and only her who could make me feel whole again.

I wasn't counting on Olivia making me feel anything. But she did. A lot of things. Some things that I had been trying to avoid and some other things that completely caught me with my pants down.

It was all very confusing and I didn't want to think about any of it. Thinking about it meant that I'd have to understand it or find a name for it, that I'd have to call it something other than "this thing" and I don't think I was ready for that. I also wasn't ready for Olivia ignoring me, yet here we were.

After we came left the lookout, everything seemed to be okay. She held my hand while we walked back to her car, she cleaned my brother's blood off her window and we drove away, leaving the afternoon we had behind us as we decided to go back to the restaurant she first took me too and I promised her I'd get 50% off with the karaoke. That time around I paid for the food so when I sang, I gave it my all. I was aware that I was being filmed and for once I didn't mind, even when the owner asked me if he could post it on the restaurant's social media, I didn't mind who'd see. And as it turned out, apparently she didn't either, because for the second time she posted me on her story, tagged me as well within seconds I gained a bunch of followers. Among them, her siblings.

And her friends.

Friends who messaged me as soon as I followed them back. A direct messages between Max, Uriel and I, a group chat named "u'r dating us2 now" where Max told me that she thought we were cute and that we should all go out together since Andrea was apparently back now and they were all back together again. Uriel said that I should probably get Jess to join. And I felt a little... weird. When Olivia noticed, she told Max to add her and although I felt a little awkward still, she made me feel a little calmer.

Our night went smoothly after that. When we got home, we watched a movie, we talked until we fell asleep and when we woke up, it followed the same routine we had been having since we started "this."

It was in the afternoon when she told me that she was going out with Andrea and Max that things started to get a little... odd. I had work, so I couldn't text her, she was with her friends so she didn't text me. But at night, she didn't come home.

Andrea needs a girls night, I'm sorry I won't be coming home. If you need anything let me know ❤️

She texted me that at around 10 at night. And although I didn't think much of it, as the minutes passed, I started to overthink it. When I got home, I was alone, Afri was still not talking to me and the silence, the empty house... my overthinking got a little worst.