Love Me, I Dare You

Chapter 15 - Lucia

Thursday

I held her in my arms and I gave her what I thought she needed. The comfort, the love that I needed when I felt like my world was tumbling down. I gave her the soft and encouraging words that I craved.

I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, I told her while I held her tighter to my chest. I know it hurts, I'm sorry, I'm right here, I said while I wiped the tears that were silently rolling down her cheeks.

And when she finally fell asleep with my arms around her, her back against my chest, I couldn't think about anything other than the fact that Olivia had opened up to me.

Olivia. To me.

She removed all the layers she hid behind and stood bare for me to see. She laid in front of me all that was hurting her, all that she kept hidden and I held her, I held her all through the night, when she fell asleep with tears still falling. When she woke up in the middle of the night, calling out my name, fear laced all around my name- 'I'm here,' I told her, hoping that it would get rid of the fear in her voice. 'I'm right here, Liv, I'm not going anywhere.' I whispered to her ear, brushing her hair softly, hoping that she'd fall back asleep.

I said it over and over and over again, like a broken record, 'I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere.' The words felt so real, I could taste the truth in them as I spoke them. I could feel how badly I actually wanted the words to feel real. It caught me completely by surprise how much I actually meant it.

I didn't want to leave Olivia. I didn't want her to feel alone. I didn't want her to feel scared that I might leave in the middle of the night after she opened up to me. I wanted to stay with her, I wanted to sing to her until she fell asleep, I wanted her to look at me the way she did as if I held all the answers to every question she ever had, like I carried the world in my hands and all she wanted was to help me carry it. I wanted her to tell me stupid jokes that only managed to make one person laugh: herself (I still don't know how I find the things she'd say funny). I wanted her to cook for me even though she was horrible at it and so was I. I wanted her to hold my hand while we walked down the street. I wanted her to talk and talk until I fell asleep. I wanted her to be around.

I wanted this Olivia. The one she had been showing me, the one I've been getting to know.

I wanted her so badly that it scared me because no matter how much I try to ignore it, there was an end to this. Reality could knock on our door at any given moment and fuck, I really, really didn't want it to.

Because truth be told... I was enjoying Olivia's company a lot more than I liked to admit. Her laughter, her kisses, her touches... I was enjoying all of it a lot.

Friday

She could barely look at me.

When I woke up, she wasn't in bed with me. She was in the kitchen, an apron wrapped around her waist. I frowned, called out her name and startled her.

"I made breakfast," she said and I knew by that she meant she went out, bought breakfast and put it in the microwave to have it at least a little warm when I woke up.

She was avoiding my eyes, moving about, giving herself something to do so she wouldn't standstill. I walked toward her, wrapped my arms around her neck and I forced her to look at me and I stole a soft and quick kiss.

And this was something I never got tired of seeing, something that I never wanted to stop seeing... Olivia blushing.

I laughed at the sudden colour in her cheeks and when she rolled her eyes at me, looking away in embarrassment as she tried to move away from me, I kept her in place, wrapping my arms tighter around her and bringing her close to me so I could kiss her cheeks. And then her forehead. And then her nose. And then her eyes... the same way she did with me when we were at the park.