Love Me, I Dare You

Chapter 6 - Lucia

I waited for Olivia's reply. I didn't know what to tell her exactly when she asked for 'deep shit' but she had been open with me, she'd been honest and told me things that I know were difficult for her to talk about. The fair thing was for me to at least try to do the same. So I typed and I hit send.

But the longer she took to reply, the more I overthink. Perhaps I shouldn't have, perhaps I should've gone for something a little less 'deep'.

Sighing, I put my phone away. Olivia probably fell asleep and to be honest, I didn't know if I'd be feeling this conversation in the morning; I don't know what it was about the nighttime that made people feel comfortable, or brave enough, to talk about things otherwise they wouldn't even think about saying. I turned to face the wall, the blinds were drawn, the window opened. A little Jigglypuff stuffy that Julieta got me on one of our first dates. Looking at the old stuffy I remember perfectly well how I felt when she got it for me. I was anxious and excited that I was on a date with someone that I thought was really cool, someone that was older and nicer than the people that had shown interest in me, someone that was a girl. I swallowed hard, turning around to face away from it, shoving the memories away.

It was then when I heard the knock on my door, light and soft, I could barely hear it. Frowning, I stood up and opened the door. Olivia stood at the other side. She was wearing a soft grey t-shirt, so big that it covered up her thighs.

"Are you sleeping?" She asked and I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes.

"Because I didn't just open the door for you, right, yeah." I turned around and get back to my bed.

Olivia walked in, she leaned against the wall, watching me awkwardly. She looked around my room. "I'm sorry I made it hard for you when you came here."

I shook my head even though she wasn't really looking at me, "No biggie," I said, "It's not like I was any nicer to you."

She hummed, hopped on the little space the window offered, her bare legs dangling from the edge, the moonlight hitting her skin, the breeze blowing some of the hair that was falling off her bun. At any other moment, I could say that she looked really fucking hot but right at the moment, I was trying to convince myself that Olivia didn't wake those feelings within me.

"Nice Instagram story, by the way." I had watched her story three times. I first saw it because Leslie sent me it, asking me if it was me. I told her that I went to eat with her after we met.

"I can take it down if you'd want," she asked me, her eyes finally meeting mine. I shook my head. "How long has it been since you've seen your family?"

I let out a breath. Oof. That's a loaded question. Or more like a loaded answer, loaded with a lot of feelings, with a lot of anger, sadness, resentment. I swallowed hard, "It's been a while. The last time I saw my dad... it was about three years ago? A few days before my 18 birthday."

"Do you miss them?"

I shook my head. But I knew she see through it, the way she looked at me told me exactly what she was thinking: 'no bullshit.'

I sighed. "It's complicated to answer that question when I don't even know the answer to that myself. Not fully, anyway." I sat up, my back against the wall. I brushed my hair back. "I think— I've been so mad at them that I've barely had time to miss them. During holidays and stuff, then yes, I miss them a lot more than I'd like to. But a phone works both ways, you know? It's not like they don't know why I left, it's not like they don't know what my brother was like... It's fucked but I needed them to pick my side for once and they didn't. I needed them to do something so that I could stop hurting and they didn't. So for the time being, I'm too mad to miss them."