My Poems [Completed]

My Life, pt. 5

I haven't done one of these in a while!

If you're getting tired of them, I'm sorry. :/ These feelings have been pent up inside of me for so long I don't know how else to get them out.

And anyway. There is a table of contents.

Oh! Before I forget: trigger warning. This one mentions self harm and suicidal thoughts.

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I never thought I would end

Quite like this

My breaths slowing down

To an almost inaudible hiss.

I guess that's what happens

When the monsters get their way

And then I ended up realizing

I never got a say

In the way I'd die

In the way the end would come

In the way my life would end up

Without any sort of hum.

Over the summer

I found a pocketknife

That was the first time I ever

Knew about the strife

Of self harm scars on my arm

Of self harm scars on my ankle

Of self harm scars anywhere, really

As long as I was able

To hide them well and hide them good

So no one asked about them

So no one knew

But I would always know.

Then I figured out

A pencil sharpener blade is good too

So I started doing that

And ended up hurting anew.

And I always used to think

I was going to be able to live

But then being a teenager came

And I figured out a big if.

If I died,

What would people do?

Would people care about me?

Would they come to my funeral too?

But the monsters come back

Whispering, "They'd never go

To the funeral of a girl

Who was broken so."

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I just realized.

These are getting shorter, aren't they?

Well, fuck.

-Kat