Unconditional Love

Instinct

Jacob went home to change and arrived back at the hospital an hour later to be met with looks of sympathy and concern. It was unusually quiet and he could sense that the staff could not shake yesterday's events from their minds. Connie was never the nicest or most popular member of the ED but they always admired her strength, her intelligent nature and the dedication she showed to making Holby City's ED a place to be proud of. To see her so broken affected them much more than Jacob anticipated.

He worked through 2 hours of people asking the same endless questions. His frustration grew, not at the staff but at himself for feeling so powerless. All he could think about was Connie and Grace and the fact that he couldn't protect either of them as much as he longed to.

During his break he remained in the Staffroom, his head resting back against his locker and his body rigid. He shut his eyes to escape.

"How is she?"

Not again. Not the same question he'd been answering all morning. He contracted the muscles in his hand to form a fist, digging his nails into his skin, distracting his attention away from the emotional pain that followed each time that question was spoken.

"Jacob?"

When he heard the voice again the familiar tone registered.

"Oh, Charlie, sorry."

Charlie responded with a sensitive smile.
"So..."

Jacob looked in confusion, as his mind continued relaying different trains of thought, he'd forgotten Charlie's initial question.

"How is she?" He repeated softly.

"Grace- stable. Connie....she's..."

He couldn't quite find the words to describe Connie's emotional state but Charlie seemed to understand. "Scared?"

Jacob gave a light nod. "My gut's telling me I should be there, give her a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on but...I don't know if that's what she wants. I feel powerless."

"We all do." He sighed. "My advice....follow your instinct." He smiled his gentle, comforting smile and turned to walk away, leaving Jacob to debate his options.

He could no longer stand it. He walked up the stairs, focused on one thing, one person and didn't even hear Rita's call as she asked where he was going.

He practically ran up the stairs to the Intensive Care Unit but halted a moment as he reached the door, onlooking Grace. He gazed at Connie, who turned away from Grace for not even a second and Jacob just knew she hadn't left the room at all. He went to open the door but again, something stopped him.

Jacob looked to Connie once again, a smile threatening to appear, and then he turned and walked away, allowing it to cautiously form on his lips.