✓ | TOUGH AS THE IRONWOOD (A.FORRESTER 2)

Home. Chapter Two.

The rise of the iron bars, clanking against it's rudders as it made way for the small group entering Ironrath's courtyard, and the screeching of metal against metal as the gate was hoisted into the air, was the most sickening sound Cynthia could've ever imagined hearing. She didn't want to come home - not after all that she'd seen and been through while away. Being at Ironrath before she left was torturous, because Asher wasn't there, and now she had to come home to the same place, and the same circumstances, after spending so long convincing herself he would be back with her by now. It was like the only place she could be with him was anywhere but home, and now she didn't want to return, just to face life without him again. Essos had been a bubble, in which Cynthia and Asher had spent that brief portion of their life the way she'd imagined she'd have spent it with him, only the two of them, and it had been perfect. Vibrant and beautiful; Ironrath had once been like that to Cynthia, but now, without Asher, her once favoured place on earth was dull and grey, lifeless and a horrid reminder of all that it was lacking. She couldn't imagine going on without Asher now, not after everything, she thought he'd be home by now, back in her arms, and she'd have all the time in the world to make up for all that they didn't do before he was exiled. The thought of all of that having died days before, left her feeling nauseated and hollow. And what lied beyond the gates, she didn't want to have to face. Talia, Elyssa, the people of House Forrester, all waiting to see Asher's return, only to receive the news of his death. Cynthia didn't want to see how Lady Forrester would react at the news of the death of another son. Yet it had to be done, and Cynthia, and Rodrik, were going to be the ones to break her heart yet again. She didn't want to come home, not to this, she wished she'd never left Essos, she wished she hadn't told Asher to come home; she wished she'd stayed with him.

The gates slammed to the ground behind the group of sellswords and Forrester guards after they'd all huddled into the mouth of the courtyard, all still grimacing at the northern chill. Cynthia was atop her horse when she stopped to look at her family waiting for her, Talia looked eager as ever, Elyssa, though smiling at her eldest son, looked with confusion at the gate that was now closed, and at the people who were now in the courtyard; or rather the people that weren't. Elaina was also there, smiling at Rodrik who had dismounted his steed, and was smiling back at his wife to be. Cynthia climbed off of the horse, her face numb from the cold and still distinctly aching from all the crying that she'd been doing on the ride home - her eyes stung and her throat burned. She had barely been able to stand without Rodrik at her sisde, who leant her a helping hand, but she still couldn't look up. Her gaze focused on the muddy ground, as she walked on. She let go of Rodrik's arm and hobbled past her mother, and her sister, and Elaina, the awful sensation of tears collecting in her eyes resurfacing after a brief period of being free from them. She could hear voices from over her shoulder, and didn't want to stay long to hear what would come next. Everyone was shouting their welcome to the Lord as he stood among the group, even Talia called out to her older brother, embracing him eagerly as he smiled down at her small body. Cynthia hadn't paid any attention to the young girl, but in all honesty, she doubted if she would have had the ability to, with all that had happened to her, Cynthia couldn't bring herself to inflict more devastation on the young girl. "I was so worried," Talia beamed, "You've returned. I knew you would." Elaina also exclaimed, greeting her betrothed. Rodrik, though pleased to see his sister and his wife to be, had a distant depression to his demeanor, one that he hid well, and Cynthia did not. "Rodrik. Where is your brother?" Elyssa demanded, a sense of sadness in her voice that made Cynthia crumbled. She let out a soft cry, that no one had heard from where she stood, far away from the group, she couldn't even walk anymore - the pain was too much to bear. "I--I don't understand...Did Asher not arrive? He...He wouldn't have missed that ship. Cyn is here, why is he not with you?" Elyssa, in all her wisdom, was being incredibly ignorant. It was obvious what had happened, Rodrik just needed to say it. And Cynthia, with all her strength, had tried to get away before she had to hear it.

"Cyn?" Elaina quickly caught up with her, and could easily see the cascade that had already started. She engulfed the young Glover in her arms, and held her as she sobbed quietly, not looking up. "He's gone..." She sighed through the trembles of her tears, and allowed Elaina's grip to tighten around her. Elaina gasped, but continued to hold Cynthia in her arms.

"Gryff got to him first. I'm sorry." Rodrik said softly, and the silence that fell upon Ironrath as he did so was sickening. In the still, quiet, environment, you could hear Cynthia's quiet cries, but even that didn't last long. "No!" Elyssa screamed, it was a heart-wrenching, gut-curdling scream that only a mother, who had lost a child, could produce. Elaina had let go of Cynthia by now, and had run to Elyssa's side as she fell. Cynthia watched, but couldn't do anything, all she could think about was all that had happened - how she'd been forced to say goodbye through the bars of an iron gate, and forced to leave Asher to his death, with no one at his side. "Easy, I've got you." Elaina hushed, as she held Elyssa's limp body in her arms. Talia had joined them now, her eyes already blurring red with the knowledge of her having lost her dearly loved brother. But even as she watched the family fall apart with this news, Cynthia was narcissistic enough to believe none of them, bar Rodrik, would ever understand what she was feeling. At least Asher knew his family loved him, and wanted him home, Cynthia had never told him how she felt, and would live with that regret for the rest of her life.

"Those animals. Those monsters!" Elyssa shouted, her voice weak from the pain of having lost the son she hadn't seen for 4 years. Everyone was sad around the courtyard, they all loved Asher, and now were all stricken with grief. "Rodrik..." Talia's tiny voice called out, trembling from the tears that now fell from her eyes. "My Lord, the people loved Asher." Royland said with a cool voice, one that Cynthia had failed to hear on many occasions, "He was a legend to them." Cynthia sobbed again, this time holding her arms around herself, as she was now alone at the back of the group.

Realisation had hit days ago, in the middle of the night, as she looked up at the stars and thought, subconsciously, Asher will be home soon, and things will be as they were once before. And suddenly, it hit - Asher had come home, and fallen in doing so, and things would never return to the way they'd been before his exile, they would simply be as they had been for the past 4 years, without him, the only difference being there would be no hope of his return. There would just be a hollow pain of knowing he was gone for good, not in some far away country waiting to come back, and they would all have to live with the thought of having had to let him go, and now move on without him around. Cynthia had spent so long praying for his return, and assuring herself and her siblings that he would be back with them soon, that it was like being stabbed, the idea of letting them down, and never getting to be with the man she loved again. But it was hearing the words from her lord that had her so distraught, because if Rodrik was saying it, if people were crying out for the man that they'd lost, and a mother was accepting the death of her child, then that meant it was real - and if it were real, Asher was well and truly gone; that was something Cynthia never wanted to have to live with, or even imagine, and all the same, that was what she had to think of now. Because there was no chance of going and bringing him home, there was no hope of his return, there was no possibility of seeing him again, there was just nothing, no more hope, or chance, or possibility, no more Asher.

"Asher is dead. Murdered. But we must all turn our grief to rage. And turn that rage on House Whitehill, for it is they who took him from us!" Rodrik's voice was inspirational, but Cynthia didn't want to have to hear those words, or her brother talk of Asher in the past tense, anymore. She forced herself to walk, to turn away and not look back, for the pain and the tears were too much to look past, in order to feel any sort of vengeance in that moment, the only thing she could feel, was loss.