Insurgent: Traitor

Chapter 4

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Tris's POV

 I am hoping that I and Marco's deal can just consist of nothing-kisses, but I know better than to hope that. Unlike Tobias who lets me get by with kissing, and cuddling, and talking; Marco is greedy, and sadistic, and selfish. I will be surprised if my seventh fear doesn't reappear. I remember after the fear simulation when Tobias took me back to his apartment and I told him he was an obstacle of mine. He looked like the universe had fallen on him and the weight was crushing him. After that he told me that he was . . . inexperienced, too, and that he would never put me in a situation like that that I didn't want to be in. After that I only had six fears, because I believed him and I trusted him.

Scratch that.

I do believe him and I do trust him. I still do and I always will.

Marco, however, I don't trust. I do trust that he'll keep his promise though, that if I do not concede to his terms that he will kill Tobias. He might just kill him anyways though. I hate the thought but it is true, what is keeping Marco from just killing him?

Then I get it.

Why Marco wants me in the first place, and the threat over Tobias, and why he doesn't just execute him now.

Me. Marco knows that as long as he holds Tobias's life that I'll do whatever he wants, he knows that he has a way to blackmail me. But why does he want me in particular in the first place? Because maybe the other girls see a cruel, evil, sadistic man and don't want that. There are some girls that like a bad boy, but he qualifies as a psychopath, an Eric. Why would any girl like that? He's attractive, I'll give him that, but under a pretty face is he worthy of being with anybody? Jeanine maybe. But anyone esle? No.

So that's his stragegy? Find a girl with something to loose, take it and hold it just out of reach and make her jump? I feel used, and vunrable, and violated. But I also feel like I have some sort of edge now. I know how his mind works and how he is using me and maybe somehow I can use that against him. But I need more information first, and the only way to do that is to get him to spill some out to me. And there's only one way to do that. 

I am going to regret this so much.

I sielently whisper a wish of redemption to Tobias, that he will forgive me for what I am about to do.

I'm sorry. I love you, no matter how this seems.