Insurgent: Traitor

Chapter 3

Night is just a never ending wakefulness here. I am exhausted and I want to sleep, but thoughts of Tris, of war, of the whimpering I hear just next door, flood my mind I find myself restless. I love Tris, I am sure of this. I will always love her no matter what, but does she love me back? I used to be sure she did and the only reason she didn't say it was because she was nervous and scared. That's what I told myself, but now, was that really the case? She loved me but was too scared to admit it, or did she not love me but didn't want to hurt me by telling me the truth? Can I love someone who doesn't love me back?

Yes.

Of course I can, not loving Tris is like not breathing, but the thought of her not loving me makes me wish I wasn't.

My thoughts are interrupted by loud crying next door. Who's over there and what's happening to them that makes them cry so loudly? I knock on the plaster wall that links this room and the next. The crying quiets down immediately and my neighbor knocks back mimicking my pattern.

"Who's knocking?" No-named-neighbor calls out to me. The voice is familiar, familiar and very recent. I take the time to rack my brain pairing that voice with every face that comes to mind until it hits a match. That is the voice of one of my transfers from this year! But it is not one I was hoping to see in a million years. I had enough of this guy to last two lifetimes.

"Peter?"

"Yeah, but who are you, how do you know my name?"

"It's To- Four," I almost say my real name but realize he doesn't know it. No, he was too busy betraying the Dauntless. Then it hits me. Peter is a traitor!

"Oh," I hear the defeat in his voice, he was probably hoping it was one of his sidekicks, Molly or Drew. Or maybe he just wanted it to be anybody but me, after all I never did get to pound him for hurting Tris.

"How did you get yourself locked up in here, Four?" I am going to punch through this wall and tackle him.

"Oh, you know, trying to save Tris," I say, the sarcasm thick in my voice.

"Oh, yeah, same here." Wait, what?

"What are you talking about?" Seriously what are you talking about?

"Well that's why I'm locked up in here, trying to bust your girlfriend out," he says in a snappy tone.

"What? Wait, why? Last time I checked you were trying to throw her over the chasm and she shot you in the arm. What changed?" I swear, if this guy says he's into her-my Tris-somebody is going to die today.

"I don't know. Ask her. Everything was normal until the Amity compound. She saved my life and I owed her, still owe her actually." I remember that, the day we ran out of the Amity compound someone shot a bullet aimed straight for Peter's head-I wish it would have gone through-Tris pushed him out of the way at the last second.

Why did she do that?

But I know the answer. It was the Abnegation in her telling her to do something for someone else. I have seen it many times, it is one of the things I love about her. And then everything from last night up to now comes flooding into my mind and I am hit with full force of what happened. Maybe I can squeeze some information about this guy that Tris is with out of Peter.

"Peter?"

"Yeah?"

"How much do you know about a guy who's been hanging around Tris?" Now I might be getting somewhere.

"That's probably Marco."

"Who?" Huh?

"After the incident with Tris's execution Marco took my place as Tris's escort and I ended up in here," he says very matter-of-factly.

"Tris's what?!" I practically scream. Execution? No, no, no. Not my Tris. Then I realize I just saw her yesterday, she's not dead.

After an hour of having Peter explain to me how Tris was scheduled for execution, how he switched the serums saving her life, how he tried to break her out potentially ending up in here, and how Marco booted him out as Jeanine's right hand soldier, I think I am starting to understand this whole situation a little better.

A little.

Not much though.

"So who is this Marco guy?" I say, still wanting to know more about him.

"I told you, he took my job." I am just now noticing something in Peter's voice, it is lacking its usual arrogant, snappy, opinionated tone. I wonder what the Erudite have done to him.

"No, I mean do you know anything else about him?" I hope he does.

"Not really," he says. Dammit "Why?" Great, now I have to explain.

I repeat the scene that has been running through my head non-stop to him. I can practically see him smirking through the wall. He infuriates me so much.

"So Stiffy moved on, huh? That sucks man," he says it sympathetically but I can hear him restraining a laugh.

"Don't call her 'Stiff'... or 'Stiffy'!" I retort, mostly because I can't think of a good comeback.

"Why not? She's pure Stiff at heart!" He calls, if I didn't know any better I'd think he was drunk. Unfortunately I do know better.

There is no denying it, she is pure Abnegation, and Dauntless, and as much as I hate to admit it, she's got a lot of Erudite in her too. Not the power hungry sort of Erudite though, the smart, observant, curious kind.

She is so much wrapped into one little person that I am surprised she doesn't burst open. Then I realize, she's already busted wide open, with grief, and guilt, and loss, and misery. It's all pouring out over her, enveloping her, swallowing her, containing her with it's stone cold claws. It is now, in this moment, I think I fianlly get why she seemed so distant in Amity, and especially Candor.

I also realize that I didn't do half of what I could have to help her. And I feel terrible.