"Candor or Dauntless?" Marco asks, tilting his head back to look at me. He is lying on the floor, and I at the end of his bed.
"Candor," I reply. I would have chosen Dauntless, if it weren't for the fact that we are locked in one room and I would like to keep his lips off of mine for as long a possible.
"Are you a virgin?" A wicked grin spreads across his face and drowns his Hazel eyes.
"Yes," not like it's something you need to know, "I'm from Abnegation. What do you think?" He pouts his bottom lip and nods his head, making his slightly curly brown hair fall off his forehead. He has high cheekbones, and a defined-but not sharp-jawline. He has that sort of innocence about him that is completely misleading. He reminds me a lot of Peter.
"Candor or Dauntless?" We've been playing this for hours now. It got old a long time ago, for both of us. But with nothing else to do we play anyways.
"Erudite," he says through a smirk. Obviously trying to confuse me.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"It means," he says, rolling over onto his knees to look me in the eye, "you ask me a question, and I try to explain it in the longest, most intellectual, most confusing way possible."
"Alright," I tease, laughing. Finally, a twist. "What is fear and how is it formed?"
"I should have known," he smiles.
"Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous," he says, "likely to cause pain, or a threat. An anxious awareness of danger."
"It is a chain reaction in the brain that starts with a stressful stimulus and ends with the release of chemicals that cause a racing heart, fastbreathing and energized muscles, among other things, also known as the fight-or-flight response. "
"Scientists have believe that the central of fear lies in a peanut-sized part of the brain called the amygdala. The amygdala assesses whether a situation is dangerous, then fires signals to other parts of the brain."
"Well," I say, considering there really isn't a good statement to follow that, "I'm never going to pick Erudite, that's for sure."
"Why not?" Marco asks, more to keep the conversation flowing than genuine curiosity. "Wasn't Erudite one of your results? Doesn't that mean you would be suited for Erudite?"
"Well yes," no, "It's just not a very big part of who I am I suppose." It's a very small part.
"I don't think that's true," he says, leaning forward onto the bed, "I can see some Erudite in you. In the way you study everyone and everything. The way you react in certain situations."
"Situations like what?" I continue the conversation, hoping that while words are still flowing from our lips, the kisses won't.
Because he's too close, too close, too close for my comfort. I know I said I would get close to him. That getting close to him will get me further away from him in time. But what use is my plan if we're in here and Jeanine no longer trusts him.
"Situations like this, for example." And he cups both my cheeks in both his hands. I'm so thoroughly caught off guard when he pulls my lips into his, I don't even fully understand what's happened until it's over.
It was a quick kiss, just a small gesture really. But it speaks volumes when I see his facial expression go from sneaky to curious to desperate in three seconds flat. And suddenly my face is on his again, and it's like he's swallowing me whole.
It's disgusting.
It's too much, too much, too much, too far, too fast. But I know I can't pull away, or shove him off, or derail him in any way that will work to my benefit. So, just like all the other times, I sit there and I take it with indifference.
I know that to pull this off, I'm going to have to kiss him back. I will have to kiss him like I want his kiss, his lips, his touch.
But I don't, I won't, and I can't.
"Not yet," she says.
"Not ever," I say.
DISCLAIMER
The facts on fear I retained from these websites (The paragraphs are ordered in the order of the sites listed):
~~~https://www.google.com/search?q=explain+fear&rlz=1C1XLWD_enUS498US502&oq=explain+fear&aqs=chrome.0.69i59.3626j0j1&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
~~~http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/fear.htm
~~~http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=97841&
YOU ARE READING
Insurgent: Traitor
FanfictionMarco's after Tris. Peter failed trying to save her. Tobias is holding on by a thread... a blonde thread. His fate rests with Tris but does he know?
