Closeted Obsession (BoyxBoy Romance Mystery/Thriller)

Chapter Eight - Coming Out

The wind blew through my hair giving it a life of its own as it flew in and around my face. I sat back in the seat trying to look as comfortable as I could in Dean's car, with my arm resting out the open window. I noticed that he kept looking over at me as we drove to where ever he planned to take me, and it was making me feel very self-conscious. Eventually, I couldn't take any more scrutiny.

"What?" I inquired.

"Nothing," he replied, shrugging his shoulders with an attempt to look innocent, "It's just... there's so much I want to talk to you about."

"Well, where are we going to have this little chat?" I asked curiously. I wondered why my body language and expressions were acting on their own in response to the way Dean was making me feel.

"There's a spot a little outside of town that I always go to when I need to get away or think about some stuff."

"Oh, really? Well I hope you're not thinkin' of taking me out there and holding me captive." I jested with a playfully, suspicious glare. What is wrong with me? Why am I acting like this around him?

He chuckle and looked over at me, "I would never do something like that."

"I hope not," I said, as I gave him a mischievous look.

We drove through the outskirts of town and the countryside was serenely comforting. It brought back memories of my youth-picnics, fishing, games of hide and go seek-the days of innocence. The road we were on had a turn off into the woods to our right. Dean took the detour and I officially became unfamiliar with the territory. A wall of green and brown blurred passed us on both sides as we made our way down the path that led to an opening up ahead. We drove into the clearing and a vast expanse of water spread out in front of us. Suddenly, I was hit with the second wave of déjà vu today.

Dean pulled up a few feet from the edge of the lake and killed the engine. The sun was setting directly in front of us and I couldn't help but wonder if he planned for us to arrive in time to catch this stunning sunset over the lake. The ambiance was too perfect to have been spontaneous. I was so lost in the view that I almost forgot who I was with. I glanced over and then quickly looked away as I noticed that he was staring right at me with an unreadable expression.

"So... what did you wanna talk about?" I asked awkwardly.

Dean stared at me intently and looked as though he was searching for something to say. Our moment of uncomfortable silence was accompanied by the singing of birds and the calm breeze stirring the water of the lake.

He cleared his throat, "Well, I guess I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am again. I know I've been a big douche, and I'm really sorry for the way I've been toward you. Can you forgive me?"

"Sure, I guess... so that's it? You just wanted to apologize again?" I was surprised by how disappointed I sounded.

He looked away nervously-his usual confident demeanor completely gone-as if he was battling with what he wanted to say.

"Before I met you, I was in the dark about a lot of things. I didn't really know who I was-I still don't. But I have been doing a lot of introspection since our time together, and for the first time I think I'm seeing things clearly."

He turned in his seat to face me completely, his eyes incredibly intense with an almost desperate expression. "I've never been really good at talking about my feelings, but I have to express myself right now. I've been going crazy and I can't hold this back any longer."