Well, it started when I was little. When I was mad at someone or even myself, I would tie a scarf around my neck until I turned red. Then my brother kept leaving home, and it scared me each time. I would hit myself over and over until the pain went away. Finally, he yelled at everyone and my sister and I yelled back at him. It made me feel good to scream. But then my mom started getting sick with an illness. And I had to care for her. That took a tole on me. I don't remember exactly when I started cutting, but it was when I was about 11. I had read about a girl who cut herself to help her inside pain. So I did.
At first, I was scared, because what if I cut too deep? So I did it on the fattest part of my body (my thighs) and it grew from there. I stopped eating because I felt fat. Therapy was no good to me.
I am getting better. I was falsely accused of suicide and was sent to a mental hospital. But they knew nothing was wrong so afterward I left.
I continued to cut until about six months ago (I think I'm about 7-8 months clean). And I have been taking my medicine and I feel better.
I want people to know that I'm here to talk. I'm a pretty much open book (besides the obvious anonymous writers name).
It gets better. Trust me. It does. PM me or @nomorescars for help and advice.
Suicide is not the answer.
