When I first started to cut was last year, around this time. I'll break down what happened.
My parents would always fight. Sometimes even blaming the reason behind the fights on me. I was a quiet kid so I didn't have any friends to go to for help or to calm me down or anything, I was basically alone.
Until I met this girl. Before I say this, yes I'm bisexual and if anything like that offenses you I'm warning you now it will be mentioned heavily.
Anyways, I met this girl. At first, we were like sisters but we grew to love each other and started dating. We were in love.
Now my parents never stopped fighting. This grew so extreme that my parents split up once and my mom and I moved out, but we ended up moving back.
Well, they ended up fighting more and my mom and I moved out again. This time, we couldn't buy a house or anything, we had nowhere to go. The only option was to move in with someone.
My ex-friend who was my friend at the time, I'll call her Sarah for the sake of privacy. Sarah's dad knew that I was talking to my girlfriend, I'll call her Anna, although no one knew she and I were dating, everyone thought we were just friends.
Sarah's dad didn't like the fact that someone older than me and someone who lived 3,000 miles away was talking to me. So when we moved in with them, he had my phone shut off.
I still took my iPod to school with me and texted Anna with a texting app I downloaded but eventually, Sarah's dad found out, screamed at me on the ride home from school, and had my iPod pawned.
My mother didn't seem to care at the time, even though later I found out she actually did but that's beside the point. She didn't seem to care that he always yelled and screamed at me and took my things. At that moment, all I had to confide in was Sarah.
At first, she seemed to care and tried to help me get Anna back. I even told her why I needed Anna so badly, I admitted the secret I kept from everyone about Anna and I to her.
Then she started to change. Sarah started to tell me the same things her dad did. She helped me less and less.
She would always criticize what I did. Anything at all you name it, apparently I was doing it wrong. Whenever we would fight because of it, she would always say,"It's my room my everything. I could hit you right now and you couldn't because my dad will kick you out!"
I felt so alone. Without Anna, everything in the world just seemed lost and gone.
So, one day, I broke apart a shaving razor and used it.
Now because I'm weak I couldn't get the blade out so it was just the head of the razor, but I bent up the blades a bit so it worked to my liking.
Whenever Sarah would be hateful to me, I would run to the bathroom and cut. It got so bad as to where I couldn't take off my jacket if I did it would look as if a cat had mauled my arm.
At this point, my mom knew I cut and knew how mean Sarah was to me. We knew we had to get out. I told her, "If we don't get out of here soon, I don't know how much more I'll be able to take." You can guess what I meant by that.
Eventually, mom and I hatched a plan and got out. We moved in with her brother, my uncle. He turned on my phone again and I got my Anna back.
After I told Anna about my cutting she made me promise I would never do it again. Although I got the urge now and again to cut, Anna helped me through it. Without her, I probably would still be cutting to this day.
