Silver Linings

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

"Coming!" Danny called out as he made his way to the door leaning on his one crutch. Now he could make the door in less than two minutes, his therapist felt he would be on a cane at his next appointment with the orthopedist.

When Danny opened the door, Jamie was there. It had been about an hour since Eddie disappeared into the subway, Jamie drove around in a circle for a half hour before automatically driving over to his brother's house. "Hey, how did it go?" Danny began then noticed Jamie was alone.

"She walked off on me, Danny," Jamie replied stepping inside. "I told her we went to see her Dad, I told her why I couldn't tell her, the doctor told her too...She got mad and walked off."

"You had to know that was going to be hard for her to hear, that you know why she's having these night terrors and won't tell her. With her past, you had to know she would feel betrayed Jamie."

Danny got two beers and sat down. Jamie put his head in his hands, "I promised her Danny. I promised to never ever hurt her."

"Kid, listen to me...You are doing this for her own good. You are doing it out of love for her, to get her better. You have to remember that and get her to see it too," Danny advised putting a supportive arm on Jamie's back.

"All she sees now is my hurting her," Jamie sighed. "But I know if I do tell her, if I do tell her what happened she won't heal, not as deeply as she needs to."

"Jamie, being in love is about making her world better each day. Telling her now to make today better will not make it better tomorrow or next week or next month. Stick it out, be there for her, take her anger and do what you always do when you get faced with someone's rage, give back love."

Jamie knew Danny's advice was spot on target. As bad a temper has he had on the job, he never had it with his wife or his kids. Linda knew he loved her every say. His advice would produce the desired result eventually. "I'm going to call her and see if she wants anything to eat." Jamie dialed Eddie's phone hoping she would pick up.

"Jamie, where are you?" she asked. Her voice was clearly in a panic.

"I'm at Danny's, I wanted to give you some space. I wanted to see if you wanted me to pick up Korean from that place you like on the Island?" Jamie was glad she had panicked, it meant that he had not destroyed everything that they had built.

Eddie said yes to the food and Jamie headed out with his big brother's words fresh in his mind. He got home an hour later, "Time to chow down," he said smiling. "You okay?"

"I am still angry, Jamie, and I am still hurt that you went behind my back to my dad and now you won't say what you know, but we have nine months together and it is worth more than that,' Eddie replied. "You're still sleeping on the couch though."

Jamie didn't argue the point, he put the food out and they sat and ate. "So, how is Danny?"

"He's good," Jamie replied. "He is moving so much better, I go over tomorrow to do his knee."

"That really seems to be helping him, Jamie," Eddie replied. "When is his reinstatement physical?"

"Two more months," Jamie said taking a bite of his meal. "He'll get there, he has the spirit and the determination. He will get there. Can we talk a minute about something else?"

Eddie nodded eating her ribs, "Sure, anything but the elephant in the room," she replied.

Jamie sighed, she wasn't going to let it go. "I signed up yesterday to take the Sergeant's exam. I sit for it next month and hope to be promoted not long after. It will mean more money, better hours...Better for us."

Eddie smiled, "I think that is really great, Jamie. You will be a terrific Sergeant but what about making Detective? Isn't that your dream?"

"Some dreams don't come true," Jamie shrugged. "If we want to be together, make a life, one day have a family I need to look into the future that I can grasp. No one has to pick me for Sergeant. If I get the top score, I get the top slot, the numbers do that talking. I was first in my glass since PreK, no one can try to argue I didn't earn it."

Eddie felt bad for Jamie. It wasn't fair to him that he was passed over when he was twice as good and talented as half of the Detectives out of the 12th. "Anything I can do to help you I will do it," Eddie replied. She was angry with him, yes, but she loved him as much as he loved her. They would work it out.

Jamie cleaned up the dinner and rested his hand on pillows, it hurt from the dampness outside as the bones knitted back together. "You want me to put some ice on it?" Eddie asked.

"No, I want to talk out what's happened," Jamie replied. "If it was really up to me, honey I would tell you now. I would hold you close and tell you and vow to protect you for the rest of my life. I will protect you, Eddie for the rest of my life, you know that. That's what I'm doing. Dr. Schmidt is the best in her field, the best, and if she tells me it is dangerous for you to remember like that, by me telling you then I am going to listen to her, because I love you too much to watch you suffer more." His voice was thick with emotion.

Eddie sighed, "I don't know if I can remember like she wants me to do it. I am so scared to do that Jamie. To go to place where a horrible thing happened and not know what it is."

Jamie put his arm around Eddie and pulled her close. "Listen, I'm going to go with you. Do you want Danny or my dad to go too, maybe it might be too hard for you to go to me, maybe my Dad?"

"Maybe, I'll ask my questions at our session next week and let her know I'm going to do it. I need you to be there, I know I was unreasonable..."

Jamie hushed her with a kiss on the lips, "Ssh, it's all right. It's all right." Jamie soothed her. "I understand. Let's forget it, let's go to bed, and try to sleep. I will hold you from behind again, you get a few hours at least that way."

"You don't," Eddie sighed. "You toss and turn, you aren't comfortable like that..." She stood up and they went into the bedroom to get as much rest as Eddie's psyche would allow.

After only one nightmare, Jamie got up at seven to go for a run. He ran around the block and down a few streets. On his way back he spotted a blonde girl crying on a bench. She reminded him of Eddie after she woke from a dream, small, cowering, and just totally in need of someone to understand. He stopped and introduced himself trying to help in any way he could. What Jamie didn't know then, was he was making a mistake that could cost more than one person their life.

Three hours later, Jamie found himself summoned by Maria Baez. She had been called with her temporary partner to the hospital to take a statement on an assault victim. That victim had died while she watched, but not before stating that the police office that tried to help her was also in danger.

"I promised your brother," Baez told Jamie. "Watch your back, play house mouse at the precinct and lay low."

"Thanks but I am a professional and an adult. I'm on duty right now, I have Walsh watching my back here and Eddie is watching at home," Jamie defended. "If you have more questions you have my number."

Jamie headed out to the car with Kara at his back, "I will back you up you know that, but be careful anyway. That guy beat the life out of his girlfriend he's sick."

"I know Kara, but she was a scared 90 pound girl, I am a grown man with a gun, it is different. We'll be alert but don't sweat it."

Kara had to admire Jamie's confidence, they were on night tours the rest of the week so she would keep an extra vigilant eye on her partner. His stubbornness was a gift in many cases, but this time she feared it could be his downfall.