Eventide of a Jedi

II

Loneliness.

A child who never knew her parents, who could only imagine their faces by looking at her own. Growing up with nobody to love or be loved by. Such was the way of the Jedi.

As younglings we had to cast away the desire for family, the natural longing for parents we all felt so desperately. As we grew and learned the importance of following the Jedi Code, we understood why we had been taken from our families and why we could never return to them. Our ability to use the Force was a blessing and a curse. Although the Force was a great power, it came with the heavy duty of protecting the galaxy. Attachments would only interfere with our ability to fully serve our purpose, and so we learned early on how to overcome the pain of loneliness.

Despite my best efforts I still often wondered about the parents I had never known. I had been told that they had been murdered, but I wanted to know more than just how they had died. I wanted to see their faces and hear their voices, I wanted to know what kind of people they were and if they had loved each other. The Jedi, of course, would never reveal this type of information to me and it would be unwise for me to even inquire about such things.

Sometimes, in the strange realm of dreams, I would see the glow of amber eyes and hear the anguished screams of a dying woman. Sometimes there were flashes of red and blue light, a lightsaber duel between a Sith and Jedi, and I always felt a strange sensation as if I had once viewed the scene in real life. As I grew older, my connection with the Force grew stronger as well and the dreams became clearer. The shadows took form and became figures, people filled with anger and hate, people with glowing golden eyes. Dark voices would whisper my name, and though I could not identify them, the voices sounded somehow familiar.

The dark figures in my dreams, the Sith who haunted me in my sleep, were none other than my parents' murderers. It was unclear why the Sith had targeted my parents, but by the time the Jedi had arrived to arrest the two dark Force-users my parents were already dead. The Jedi managed to defeat the two who had slain my parents and, upon realizing that I was Force-sensitive, brought me to the Jedi Temple to be trained. I was only an infant when I was brought to the Jedi and the temple was the closest thing to a home I had ever had. Though it would be against the Code to say so, I found a family in the Jedi Order.

I was content with my Jedi family, but my parents' deaths had always bothered me. The Sith embodied everything that the Jedi fought against, everything we swore to banish from the galaxy so that the people could know peace. The Sith only understood violence and pain, and they were the reason my parents were dead.

A Jedi had no desire for revenge, and we never killed except in acts of self defense. And yet I had always felt a need to avenge my parents, to bring justice to the Sith and make them answer for all they had ever done. The Dark Side had plagued the galaxy for thousands of years and it was my obligation as a Jedi to keep balance in the galaxy. If my thirst for revenge helped fuel my mission as a Jedi, then so be it. The ends justify the means, and if bringing justice to my parents also means keeping the galaxy safe, then I will do what I must to ensure the downfall of both the Sith and the Dark Side of the Force.