Dean pushed his key into the door slowly, not wanting to disrupt the apartment so early in the morning. He opened the door, his large shoes scraping against the hard-wood floor as he walked. When realising this he slipped them off and placed them quietly by the door.
'Cas?' He whispered poking his head around the door of the sitting room.
No response.
Cas lay fast asleep across the sofa surrounded by books. He must have been revising again. Dean walked over attempting to avoid falling, switching off the television as he passed. He slided Cas' glasses away from his face, placing them on the side table as he grabbed the woollen blanket and draped it over Cas' seemingly lifeless body.
Cas turned in his sleep, smiling as he mumbled indecisively.
Dean walked into the kitchen grabbing a plate ready to stuff his face with whatever he could find when he noticed a notepad on the kitchen counter.
It was relatively small and covered with old film reel cuttings, the ribbon which had appeared to be holding it shut was now laid beside it. Dean picked up the book, carrying on searching through the fridge as he read.
Then it hit him. This was Cas' diary.
He didn't know what to do, should he continue reading? Cas wouldn't forgive him if he found out.
He poked his head back around the doorframe to ensure Cas was still asleep which he was. He closed the fridge door, placing the book back onto the counter.
They were roommates, what could Cas have to hide? Right?
Without hesitation Dean grabbed the book from the counter and began to flick through the glossy pages, each decorated with beautiful illustrations of the days activities.
'Dear Diary.' He read as he began to focus more on the words of the page rather than the pictures.
'Dean went out again tonight. Probably meeting some dumb blonde he could get into bed. As usual.'
Dean scoffed, laughing at his friends sarcasm. It was sarcasm, right?
He focuses again on the same page.
'I've given so many hints. Haven't I? He knows I'm gay right? Why can't he just figure it out.'
'Cas is gay?' Dean mumbled rather loudly, too loudly perhaps as he clamped his hand over his mouth.
He continued to read a lot of rambling of Cas' until he saw it. Saw the sentence that would change his life for what seemed to be forever.
'I love him.' Written in Cas' beautifully curled handwriting.
Dean froze. He didn't know what to think, he didn't know what to say. What could he say? If Cas knew he read this he'd never forgive him. But he had to say something.
He placed the diary back onto the table, only now realising there was a small piece of paper poking out of the back corner. He tugged at the loose paper until it came free.
It was them. The picture they had taken on Cas' Polaroid back at the beach last year. They looked so happy.
Dean smiled turning the paper over to yet again reveal more of Cas' beautiful handwriting which read, 'Dean and me.'
Dean buried his head in his hands, dropping the picture back into the book.
'Dean?' Cas whispered
Dean jumped up from the chair, he had fallen asleep.
'Cas?' Dean rubbed his eyes looking at him.
Cas was stood in the doorway, glasses in his hand wearing only his woolly jumper and his underwear.
'What're you doing in here?' Cas walked over to the fridge pulling out a carton of milk, 'it's like 6am.'
'Uhh...' Dean was speechless. He attempted to cover the book with his elbow as he stared at Cas trying to act natural.
'What's that?' Cas said through his mouthful of milk.
'What's what?' Dean blinked rapidly.
'That.' He pointed, 'under your arm.'
'Homework.' Dean smiled
'Since when have you done homework?' Cas laughed, he knew Dean was lying.
'Show me.' He tugged at Deans arm repeatedly until the book was revealed.
'What're you doing with that?' Cas grabbed the book from the table immediately, wrapping it between both arms to ensure it wasn't in view.
'I found it here.' Dean mumbled pointing half heartedly at the table, 'I didn't mean to read it.'
'YOU READ IT?' Cas shouted walking out of the room, his face red with embarrassment.
'I'm sor-'
'No.' Cas interrupted, 'No. I'm sorry.' Slamming his bedroom door.
Dean stood alone outside the door, tapping against the wood, 'Casss.' He repeated again and again before sinking onto the floor head in hands yet again.
'I'm sorry.' He mumbled, 'I really am.'
No response.
'Cas?' He tapped again at the door, 'At least now I know how you feel.'
Dean fell backwards as the door opened revealing Cas' still blushed face.
'You... What?' He stared down at Dean, still on the floor.
Dean stood up, taking Cas' hands within his own, 'I feel the same way.'
'No you don't.' Cas slipped his hands away as he tugged his dressing gown on, 'otherwise you wouldn't be sleeping around with every girl we know.'
Dean laughed half heartedly, looking down at the floor before re-focusing his gaze upon Cas, 'You know what people think of me.' Dean shuffled his feet slightly, moving closer to Cas, 'I guess I always knew I liked you but never had the courage to tell you.'
'You like me?' Cas laughed as if it were a joke, 'Ha.' He said sarcastically.
Their fear of rejection had kept them apart for so long, and now their fear of mockery had taken over.
'You're right.' Dean mumbled, 'I don't like you.'
Cas laughed walking into the kitchen again, digging through the fridge to pull out a beer.
'I love you.'
'Oh god.' Cas laughed
'What?'
'That was so cheesy.' He spat beer as he giggled.
'Shut up.' Dean took the beer from his hand placing it down on the table,
'Well?' He took Cas' hands.
'Well...?' Cas looked confused, not even seeming to know whether to look Dean in the eyes.
'You idiot.' Dean laughed before grabbing Cas and pulling him into the kiss they had both longed for.
They were both sort of tense at first but then immediately became comfortable as they sunk into each others arms. Dean ran his fingers through Cas' luggy morning hair, his glasses causing complications as they repeatedly hit Dean on the nose. Neither even cared.
'Finally.' Cas uttered as their lips separated, 'You have no idea how long I've waited for that.' He nudged Dean, their foreheads pressing together.
'I'm pretty sure I do.'
