Bulletproof

chapter 10

I get out of bed. Making sure Jc doesn't hear or feel me leave.

I walk into the bathroom. I hover over the toilet. I puke.

I throw up for a good 10 minutes.

Why is this happening to me? Jc loves guys.

I'm just afraid.. What if something or someone comes into his life.

So many things can happen. I don't know what to do anymore. Why me? Of all people.

I just want to die.

One of my friends who live down the hall and I go out for a walk. It's snowing.

I tell her everything; but she's no help.

We're about to cross the street. She walks without looking at the cars. A car hits her..

She falls to the floor as the car drives away.

"SARAH!!!!!" I scream and run towards her. "WAKE UP!! PLEASE"

I try to feel for her pulse. I feel nothing.

I drag her to the curb. No response. The ambulance arrives.

"Alexis?" The police officer says.

"Yes." I say. Hiding my face. Not wanting to look at anybody.

"I'm sorry.. Sarah is gone." He pats my shoulder and walks away.

I feel the snow dropping on my sweater. I walk back to my dorm.

Jc is still asleep.

I lay in my bed. Not wanting anybody to touch me. Or talk to me.

I search through my drawers, looking for a razor. Nothing. I can't find anything.

I break my razor I use to shave with. I make a deep incision in my wrist.

Blood is dripping down my arm. I look into the mirror. My mascara is running down my face.

My eyes are blood shot red.

I'm not feeling any better. I make another cut. This time creating a scream. Jc almost wakes up.

I slam the door shut. Hoping it would keep me quiet. I put the razor down.

Still dripping in blood, I sit on the bathroom floor. I scream and nuzzle my face into my legs. Rocking back and forth.

I had the strength to wrap my wrists up and lay in bed.

So much shit has happened in my life. I want to die. Kill myself. Maybe even live in hell. I can't bare this anymore.

Sarah didn't deserve that. Nobody does. To even think, the driver just drove away.

Without doing anything.

Nothing at all.

She'll never be forgotten.

Always be in my heart.. The one thing she did tell me before she was gone was about Sierra.

Sierra lied to me.

She wasn't in a car accident.

She killed herself after Jc told her that he was attracted to men.

And Jc was cheating on her, with a guy. He left Sierra, for a guy...

Some guy named Ricardo.

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