Bulletproof

chapter 16

I stare into the camera lens. I know that if I tell everyone what happened, I will start to cry again. But they deserve to know.

"If you haven't heard already.... Uh.. Jc was murdered a few nights ago. I know this might be difficult for some of you. I haven't been very strong either. You guys meant the world to Jc, ALL of you. He would tell me every day that you guys are one of the reasons why he was still here, making videos. I'm so sorry. You can get through this, we can get through it together. I believe in you. Jc misses you guys so much. Thank you for helping make him who he was today. So... this is it." I cover the camera with my hand. Tears streaming down my face.

I shut the camera off. I'll edit it later I'm too upset to now.

I walk over and lay on Jc's bed. It still smells like him. Like a fresh scent, with a little bit of cologne.

I find an envelope next to Jc's bed. It's still sealed, and it has my name on it.

I slowly tear open the envelope and take out a slip of paper. It has a small note on it that reads:

Dear Lexi,

If you're reading this, that means that I'm gone; forever. Please stay strong for me. I'm still here watching over you, protecting you from anyone and anything. I want you to be happy again. I know that nobody could ever take my place, but I need you to move on. And know that I still care so much about you. But I don't want you to be going through this your whole life. I'm gone and I'm never coming back. And I just wanted to remind you how much I love you. You meant the absolute world to me, and in fact, still do. I miss you so much, see you soon.

Love,

Jc

I'm crying harder than I've ever cried before. Jc knew that he was going to die. Why didn't he tell me?

I need answers and I don't know how to get them.

My mind is running in a billion circles right now. I know that if I look at pictures or videos we took, it will only make things worse. But maybe I need closure, to let me know that he's actually gone. And he's never coming back. I just want to be with him again...

I slowly open my laptop, where I keep all of my pictures. I open the folder that reads: "Our adventures"

I put the settings into slide show mode. I'm preparing myself for what's going to happen. I'm not ready, but I need to be.

The very first picture is of us at the beach. We both have smiles on our face, like we've never been happier before.

The next one is of all of us. Jc, Connor, Ricky, Kian and I. When we were playing laser tag. Jc had this special way of making everything fun.

I clicked the mouse and it changed to the next picture.... I slam my laptop. I run over to the bathroom and hover over the toilet. I gag a little and then throw up.

I knew I couldn't do this..