Forever & Always

Chapter 27

I talked about life and how it likes changing things up on you. Well, I'd also like to add that it seems life doesn't like you fairing well for a long period of time and most of the time it's biggest curveballs are thrown your way when you think you've got it all. Remember: you never have it all. 

****

My phone hit the floor, where as it turns out, was where Shane's phone was as well. Where was Shane, you might ask? Shane was in there. And so was Annie.

The scene before me was this: Shane was sprawled out on the bed in the room that looked like it was a guest room. Annie was straddling him, holding his hands down. Shane's shirt was unbuttoned almost all the way down. There was lipstick on smeared on the side of his face and on the collar of his shirt, matching the mess of lipstick on Annie's face. They weren't having sex or anything, both of them were still mostly clothed. But in my mind, they might as well have been having sex. All I could see was my dad again. I was back to walking into my parents' bedroom that fateful day, but this time, it was me getting stepped on. 

I stood there, frozen, too consumed by the inner workings of my mind to say anything at the moment. My heart had been smashed like glass, but it happened fast, so it just laid there in pieces. I wasn't sure I was feeling anything. Numb, to emotion, to knowing where I was, knowing what to do. Shane was the one that made the first move. 

"Oh no, no, no, Riley," he said, pushing Annie off of him and standing up. She pulled at him, but he pushed her again. "I said it before and I'm not going to say it again, get off of me." He made a move toward me, but in a split second, I woke up. 

"Stop!" I shouted, holding my hand out. He was taken aback by the amount of force I had put into my voice and I saw Annie wince a little, though a tiny smirk was on her face. I wanted to rip it off. 

The people in the hallway had gotten quiet when they heard me yell. All eyes were on me and listening to what was happening in the bedroom. 

"Riley, please, I know what this looks like, but you have to believe me, I was trying to-", but I waved him off, yelling at him to stop again. I didn't want to hear anything. 

I turned to Annie, her eyes getting a little wider knowing that I was coming for her first. All of sudden, the anger boiled up inside my body. My breathing got faster and more ragged, my hands started to shake and I was feeling it. This was it. Snap.

"Are you happy?" I asked, mirroring my mother's unique ability to make a calm statement sound so dangerous. 

Annie looked around for help, like the question wasn't straightforward enough for her. 

"Are you happy with yourself?" I asked again. "You won. You did, you won. I give up. I give the fuck up, Annie. You win because you are an obsessed psychotic bitch and I will never be you, and God knows that's the best fucking thing about me." 

Shane made another move to talk to me. "Riley, listen to me, I-" 

"I don't want to hear anything from you except silence!" I shouted back at him. "I trusted you!" I shouted, but I felt some tears prick at my eyes and my voice broke a little. "I trusted you and here I am, looking like a fucking idiot. How stupid of me. I believed every God damn word, every line you threw at me, and it's gotten me here, dealing with the same situation that got me moved here in the first place. The painful irony!" 

"Riley, those weren't lines," he pleaded. "I meant everything I have ever said to you. I love you, you know that, and this wasn't anything like it looked. She-"

"She is a bitch!" I shouted cutting him off. "Trust me, I know! I've been doing everything in my power to stay sane through all of the horse shit she's been throwing at me since I got here. And I'm tired. Really, I'm exhausted. I should be focused on getting into college rather than fighting a girl in the cafeteria over a guy!"