They Don't Know About Us

Chapter 16

(In this chapter Alise ‘writes her own song’ I know it’s already a song and if you want to listen to it then here is the link to it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SV_zh9OtNMc and Conor’s song he sings is Ed Sheeran Sunburn! A lot of lyrics in this chapter, sorry! But the songs explain their feelings so don’t skim them, especially Alise’s okay!)

***

“Goodbye Conor.” I stepped past him and began to walk off.

“What have I got to do?!” I stopped in my tracks. He wasn’t being serious was he? I slowly turned around and his head was to the floor. “Just tell me and I’ll do it…” He lifted his head up and his eyes were red and puffy and tears were falling down his cheeks. My heart ached for him for a second. Just a second. But then I remembered why he feels like this in the first place. Wait a minute. Why am I thinking how he feels when this was all his fault in the first place, he made me feel like shit so why do I care the slightest bit about how he feels? I know the answer to that but I’m not going to admit it to myself.

“My mum once told me, when I fall in love, I’ll know. I’ll get butterflies when I’m around them and when they call my name my heart would skip a beat. She also told me that you can’t help who you fall in love with, it happens whether you like it or not. I just wish I didn’t fall in love with you Conor because I would have saved myself a whole lot of tears and anger and sadness and a whole lot of destruction to my life.” I was crying by this point and I didn’t even care anymore. “I trusted you with everything…everything. And you broke my trust…and it wasn’t the only thing you broke as well. When I heard you and Sophie talking about me, you didn’t just break my trust, you broke me…I was so strong before falling in love with you but now when you, the one person I loved has betrayed me, I feel like breaking and dying with the every breath I breathe inside. Life is not only a name of breathing, it is a name of love, and hope and you've taken away both things from me and you expect me to live? If you think that I can live then surely I'll survive because after all we are living every day in the search of a day when we can find our stone hearted lovers turning back to us and say that they loves us…But you don’t love me…So why should I keep trying because now I only have one thing to fight for…It used to be you and the competition…But now it’s just the competition. You ask me what you have to do. There is simply nothing you can do now…If you loved me then you wouldn’t have done this to me. Do you like seeing me breaking? Is this why you really did this? Because I don’t believe you did it for the money because you would have to be some sick bastard to do this to someone.” I was shaking now. I practically poured my heart out to Conor. No screaming this time and it felt kind of good to just let it all out. I turned around and walked off. This time Conor didn’t stop me.

***

“So you’re telling me you want to sing your own song for the next live show?” I was stood in Simons office asking if I could write, and perform, my own song for my next performance.

“Yeah I mean, like you said, this week’s theme is love right? Then I know exactly what I want to write about, I’ll have it done in time for the show, you can even see me perform it first if you like, and if you think it’s a bad song then I’ll sing something else just please-”

“Okay, you have until Thursday evening to write a song and perform it here for me. If I like it, I’ll pull some strings in the competition and you can sing it.” I squealed with joy. Today was Monday so I had a bit of time.

“Thank you so much Simon! You won’t regret it! I better go start now!” I was excused from his office and made my way back to the X-Factor house. I found some pen and paper and ran to my room. I know exactly what I want to sing about.

***

I was currently pacing back and forth in my dressing room. I have never been so nervous in my life! I have done this before so why am I so nervous this round? Today I would be singing my own song. Simon approved of it and I feel confident…-ish. I looked in the mirror and I had my hair in a neat bun on top of my head with two pieces of hair falling down the sides of my face which had been curled slightly. I was wearing a gold, long dress that spread out across the floor and my makeup was done beautifully; I had gold and black eye shadow on with mascara and foundation with a hint of blusher on. This make up crew knew how to look people look fantastic! My television was playing in my room and suddenly Conor came on the stage to sing his song. I was about to turn it off until I heard the tune. I love this song and I could tell he was singing it to me.