I had about 5 minutes sleep last night. No matter how hard I tried to drift into unconsciousness, a stabbing pain would hit me in the heart. It was all in my head though, it was just the emotional pain I was feeling that made it feel like I was actually being stabbed. My tears never came to a stop, when I thought I could cry no more, I was wrong and they just kept flowing down, wetting my duvet in tears. I gave up after about an hour on trying to make them stop because there was no use. I heard Anna come in and she tried to talk to me, I said one thing to her and then blocked her out.
*That Night*
I lay there, still, only slightly shaking due to my quiet sobbing. I couldn’t block the words out of my head, ‘we did this to weaken her’. The words repeated themselves over and over again. It wasn’t real. Conor lied to me. How could he do this to me, I thought I was special to him, he was defiantly special to me, I thought I was beginning to actually love him. I was foolish. I heard the door squeak open and hid further under the duvet, I couldn’t face Conor again tonight…or ever for a matter of fact. I relaxed a little when I heard Anna’s soft voice.
“Alise?! What’s wrong why are you crying?!” I didn’t reply, I just sobbed a little louder. “Please talk to me Alise…” I felt a dent in my bed and I could tell she had sat down. Her hand started to smooth down my hair, trying to relax me, it didn’t work. “Baby please, I want to help you…” Her voice was sad and I swallowed the sobs that wanted so badly to escape and managed to speak.
“It hearts Anna…It hurts so bad…Make it stop…Please, make it stop!” I began to sob once again and Anna was becoming worried.
“What hurts Alise? Tell me, I want to help you?!” I didn’t look up at her, I just lifted my face out of the duvet and whispered something so quiet I’m not sure she even heard.
“My heart…”
*Present Tense*
I lay in bed unmoving. I wasn’t leaving my room today, I couldn’t take the chance of seeing him again. I had ony just managed to stop crying and if I saw him, I knew it would start all over again. I could hear someone talking quietly outside and I strained my ears to listen in.
“What the fuck did you do!” It was Anna and I bet I knew who she was talking to.
“I-I didn’t do anything!” Of course it was Conor. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to ignore the conversation but it just got louder.
“SO YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT ONCE SHE LEFT ME TO GO AND SEE YOU! AND THEN COMES BACK HERE AND I FIND HER CRYING HER EYES OUT THAT YOU DID NOTHING WRONG HMM?!”
“Would you please lower your voice!”
“NO! YOU BETTER TELL ME WHAT YOU DID NOW BEFORE I HAVE TO FORCE IT OUT OF YOU.” More tears were streaming down my face once again. I wish I could just fall into a hole and die.
“I ALREADY TOLD YOU I DID NOTHING!” That was it. I can’t take it anymore. I jumped out of bed and ran over to the door and swung it open. Anna and Conor’s head looked round to look at me and they’re eyes widened.
“You did nothing?! Conor you did everything you possibly could to destroy me!” I pushed him hard and he stumbled back into a wall. “You did nothing?! You ripped my fucking heart out of my chest!” I shoved him again. “You did nothing?! You made me feel like a piece of shit! You call that nothing?” I looked at Anna. “You wanna know what he did? We were secretly ‘seeing’ each other and I thought it was all real! I turned back to Conor with tears continuously flowing down my face. I pointed at him and began to cry harder. “You did it to ‘weaken’ me. You made me believe that we had something special but it turns out you did all just to weaken me! You did it for the money! Do you know how that makes me feel Conor? It makes me feel like I can’t take it anymore! It makes me feel like everything I have has gone! It feels like I have no one anymore, all because of you! So was It worth it? Was the money worth breaking me? Because that’s what you’ve done you know? I feel like nothing now and it’s all because of you!” My screaming had drawn a lot of attention to us two and now all the contestants were wearily watching the commotion. “I trusted you…” My voice was a low whisper now. “I thought you loved me…”
“I DO love you Ali…” Conor started to walk towards me but I took a step back. “It was a mistake okay and I wish I could take it back! I love you Ali…Please…I am beginning you to forgive me!” I walked closer to Conor and leant towards his ear and whispered something in his ear.
“No matter what you do…I will never forgive you…EVER…” I began to walk back into my room but spun around and looked deep into Conor’s eyes. “I hope it was worth it.” I slammed my bedroom door shut and fell to the floor, placing my head in my hands. Nobody ever deserves to feel the way I do right now.
***
I sat in my dressing room, wearing the same outfit as last night, I would be finding out whether I was through to the next round.
“Alise, come on, you’re out in 2!” I hurried out of the door and made my way to stand in front of the two large doors that would soon open. All the contestants were here apart from Anna, and the judges were standing with their group. I stood next to Simon and he grabbed hold of my hand. I looked up to him and smiled. Anna quickly came and stood next to me and I gripped hold of her hand tightly. I didn’t even look at Conor even though I could feel his eyes burning into the side of my face.
“You’re all going to be safe don’t worry about it, trust me.” There were four of us, Me, Conor, Anna and some man whore who would shag anything with a pulse, Brendan. The other 3 judges had their four contestants as well, out of everyone I wanted Conor to leave. I know we’re practically on the same team but I hate him for what he has done to me. He has broken me and made me feel like shit and he deserves to go. I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Dermot welcome us to the stage. The double doors opened and all lights shone on us, nearly blinding me.
“So we have Louis with the groups! Simon with the under 25’s! Dani with the girls and Cheryl with the boys!” The room exploded with cheers and I even heard some people scream my name. I smiled slightly but that was all I could manage. “Well, the lines are now closed and the votes have been counted! It is time to reveal who is safe…and who Is going home.” I looked over at Anna when I noticed she was shaking like crazy and I gave her hand a little squeeze and whispered so only she could here.
“Trust me remember.” She nodded her head slightly and I looked back to the crowd, waiting to know my fate.
“The first act that is through to next weeks live show is…” Dermot was building up the tension and I wanted to scream at him and tell him to hurry up. “ANNA FOSTER!” Anna was through! This was brilliant! I pulled her into a hug and quietly congratulated her before she hugged Simon and ran off the stage.
One by one people were relieved to know that they were safe and that left 4 of us remaining. Me, Conor, A group called ‘Parody’ and someone in the boy’s category called Tom.
“I can reveal that the next act safe and through to the next round is…CONOR MAYNARD!” Conor fist pumped the air and gave Simon a hug. Well hoo-fucking-ray. If I get through then I will be with him for another week. But what if I don’t…I could be going home…if I’m not through next then It will be up to the judges to decided. Shit. Reality was sinking in that I really could be going home. “Okay…the last act that is defiantly safe, and will be through to next week’s live shows is…” It’s not going to be me…I know it. I’m such a failure…My life just keeps going downhill. Why does everyone hate me, what have I done wrong- “ALISE UZKALNE!”Oh my god! He called out my name! I’m through! I began crying and hugged Simon tight. He seemed pretty pleased that all his acts were through and I walked off stage while Simon went and took a seat at the panel. I feel sorry for the two acts who have their fate held in the hands of the judges but I’m so happy! Well…that was until I bumped into a certain someone I have been avoiding since earlier this morning.
“Ali…” My face turned up into a grimace as I heard him use my old nickname.
“Goodbye Conor.”
(Oh daymm!! Well Alise is through, YAY! More drama will be on the way! Dun dun dun!! Hope you enjoyed it and I updated early because I like the story at the moment and wanted to keep it going and not lose the momentum! Bye my lovelies!!)
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They Don't Know About Us
Ficção Adolescente"I think I’m in love with you!” “Well that makes two of us then.” His face lit up and hope flashed across his face. “Wait let me re-word that. I THOUGHT I was in love with you.” His face crumbled and I laughed at him. “I guess that makes two of us...
