Feel Alive(Adopted By Mikey Way)

11~Mikey & Shallan

We have a week left on tour. Shallan hasn't said a word all day and she hasn't stopped writing either. We're driving to New York right now. It's raining. Actually it's a full blown thunderstorm. Shallan is staring out the window. I sit down next to her.

"Hey." she looks at me but doesn't say a word.

How are you?" she shrugs.

"What's wrong?" she resumes looking out the window. She sighs and then turns back to me.

"Do you ever feel like the weather reflects how you feel?" she asks.

"What do you mean?"

"Like today. I'm sad and angry and scared and the weather is like that. The rain is sad, the thunder is angry and the lightening is scared. You know?" I nod. She looks back out the window. she starts singing softly to herself. And whatever she's singing is not English.

"What are you singing?"

"It's an Italian lullaby my mom used to sing when it rained. She was from Italy originally. She moved to the U. S. when she was nineteen. She lost her accent before I was even born so you couldn't tell that she wasn't from the U. S." She sighs and looks out the window. She keeps singing and I notice tears slide down her face. I scoot closer to her and wraps my arms around her. She rests her head on my chest and keeps singing. She starts crying harder which makes it harder for her to sing. She tries hard to keep singing. Then she loses it. She starts full on sobbing and hides her face in my chest. She's saying something over and over, but due to the fact that she's talking to my chest I have no idea what she's saying. She pulls away and looks me in the eye. Then she looks down and pulls the sleeve of her shirt up. Six fresh lines are on each of her wrists.

"I'm sorry." she sobs. She keeps saying she's sorry over and over.

"It's okay. I promise."

"Y-you aren't mad?" she asks quietly.

"I'm not mad. I know that sometimes you can't resist the urge. I had a really bad alcohol and drug addiction a couple years ago. When I was getting clean and sober it was hard to just stop and sometimes I would relapse. I relapsed a lot actually. Bad habits are hard to break. It takes a lot of time and patience." she nods. We sit in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.

"Can you believe that Thanksgiving is just two weeks away?" I ask her.

"Thanksgiving was never a very big deal at the care home. Christmas was though."

"You'll get to meet my family for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We'll be going back to Jersey the end of this week and then there's days after Christmas we're going back on the road."

"What if they don't like me?"

"They'll love you."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know my family. Trust me."

"Ok."

"Shallan when's your birthday?"

"Last week." she whispers.

"Why didn't say so last week?"

"Because it's not important."

"Of course it's important."

"No it's not. Not anymore. Without Felix it's not the same. Please don't do anything for my birthday. I don't do anything and that's the way I want it to stay. Please."

"Ok. If that's what you want."

"Thank you." She rests her head on my shoulder and looks out the window. She starts to sing again.

"What's it called?"

"O Sole Mio."

"What does it mean?" I ask.

"Oh what's so fine dear as a day of sunshine.
The sky is clear at last, the rain and storm are past
Through all so cool, so bright, comes the festal sunlight
Oh what's so fine dear, as day of sunshine

Another sunlight
Far lovelier lies
Oh my own sunshine
In your dear eyes

When day is ending and the sun's descending
A tender sadness pervades my gladness
I long to linger underneath your window
When day is ending and the sun's descending

Another sunlight
Far lovelier lies
Oh my own sunshine
In your dear eyes." I nod and she keeps singing. Thunder booms overhead, lightening flickers in the distance and the rain comes down in sheets. The guys are talking and laughing, but I'm only listening to Shallan sing. My phone starts ringing. I pull it out of my pocket and flip it open.

"Hello?"

"Mikey? It's Patrick."

"Oh hi."

"Hi. I was wondering if maybe I could talk with Shallan?"

"Sure." I offer the phone to Shallan.

"It's for you." She takes the phone and puts next to her ear.

"Hello?" She asks. Patrick says something and her face floods with relief. I decide to leave and not eavesdrop.

Shallan's POV

"So how are you?" Patrick asks.

"I'm okay. You?"

"Bored. Otherwise okay."

"So I'm just a cure for your boredom? Do you just expect me to entertain you?" I ask, quite sassily.

"No that's not why I called. No I just wanted to talk to you. I didn't mean-" he sounds very flustered.

"I know."

"Oh."

"Sorry."

"It's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Uh-huh. So I was wondering if...um...you know what? Never mind."

"No go ahead. What were you going to say?" I prod.

"It's fine. It doesn't matter. It was stupid."

"I'm sure that it wasn't."

"You like to read right?"

"Yeah? Why?"

"What kind of books do you read?"

"I like fantasy."

"I have a book I think you'd like."

"Cool."

"Yeah. I'll give it to you..um..maybe tomorrow."

"Okay. Thanks."

"You're welcome." someone shouts in he backround. Patrick sighs.

"I've got to go. I'll call you later, though. Promise."

"Ok. Bye Patrick."

"Bye Shallan." He disconnects the call. I close the phone and I can't help the small smile that crosses my face."

"You look happy." Ray says sitting down in front of me.

"I am." Which is sort of true. I'm happier than I've been in five years, but I'm not happy like I was when Mom and Dad were still alive.

"And why's that?" I shrug.

"Could it have something to do with a certain Mr. Patrick Stump?" Ray asks knowingly.

"Maybe." I reply, looking back out the window. Ray chuckles.

"I thought so." He says, then gets up and walks towards the kitchen.

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Hi! Thanks for waiting. My life is still kind of chaotic so updates may not be on schedule, but I'll do my best. Also I changed Shallan's age. She was sixteen when Mikey adopted her and just turned seventeen. Ok? Great. Comment and vote. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thanks! Stay awesome!

Savannah(-: