Shallan isn't in the living room, so I make my way down the hall. I check in the bathroom first, but she's not there either. I find her in my room. She's sitting on my bed with her knees pulled up to her chest.
"Shallan what are you doing?" I ask.
"I am a horrible person." she whispers.
"Why do you think that?"
"I insulted your mom and her cooking. She probably hates me." Tears slide down Shallan's cheeks and land on her knees.
"She doesn't hate you." I sit down next to her and wrap my arm around her shoulders. She rests her head on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry I ruined dinner."
"You didn't ruin anything."
"But you should be out there with your family and not in here with me. Your family should be first."
"You're my family too, Shallan. You matter just as much as they do." She shakes her head. I sigh.
"Are you going to come back out and finish supper?"
"Can I just stay here?" she asks.
"I suppose."
"Thank you." I nod and stand.
Shallan's POV
I watch Mikey leave. He closes the door behind him. I sit for a few minutes and collect my thoughts. I decide to go back out. I walk back out to the kitchen. They are all still eating. Instead of sitting down I go lean down to whisper in Gerard's ear.
"May I borrow your phone?" I ask him.
"Sure." He pulls it out of his pocket and hands it to me.
"Thank you." I walk back down the hall to the bedroom I was in. I think it might be Mikey's. I sit down on the bed and look through the phone for Ray's number. I find it and wait while it rings.
"Hello? Gerard?" Ray's voice comes through the phone.
"Hi Ray. It's Shallan."
"Shallan? What's wrong? You didn't do it again, did you?"
"N-no-not yet, but my wrists are itching and I-I don't know what to do." Tears are pouring down my face again.
"Just talk to me. Tell me why you want to cut."
"Everything. I insulted Mrs. Way and I'm ruining everything. And I am a horrible person."
"No you aren't."
"Yes I am. I'm better off dead."
"No. No you aren't. Don't say that."
"Why? It's the truth."
"No it's not. Shallan did you take your pills today?"
"Yes."
"Shallan."
"No." I whisper.
"Shallan you have to take those every day."
"I know. I forgot. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Just try not to forget again."
"I will." We continue to talk for close to an hour. The bedroom door opens and Mikey walks in. I hold up a finger to signal for a minute.
"I need to go." I tell Ray.
"Alright. Thank you for calling."
"Thank you. For listening."
YOU ARE READING
Feel Alive(Adopted By Mikey Way)
FanfictionFirst: this starts during the end of the revenge era Second: Title credit: Feel by Sleeping With Sirens Third: Warning: There will be a lot of triggering things in this story. Have you ever felt like you're nothing more than an empty shell? Have you...
