is it true? | jjk

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i remember when i first started taking piano classes.

it was the first grade. i didn't really like it and i really wanted to quit, but you said that you liked the sound the piano made. so i decided to continue to make you happy.

i wasn't horrible-- but then again i wasn't very good either. but you kept me going, and after a couple of years, i won my first piano competition.

i can say that i owe it all to you.

you supported me the entire way, and i can't thank you enough for your countless amounts of 'you're so good!'s and 'that was beautiful!'s.

you made me feel like i was the greatest person in the world, but i always knew that position was always occupied by you in my heart.

one day, i had a performance in front of the administrators of my piano school to test my skill.

i was a nervous wreck. i couldn't do it. the days leading up to it were the most nerve wracking days of my life. my fingers were shaking tremendously. how would they be able to play against the keys?

i don't know if i can do this.

but you promised me you'd be in the audience to support me. you said that if i ever freaked out, to just remember that you were there.

i trusted you.

that day came, and there was a very small audience-- maybe less than 15 people-- and i could see every person in the audience: my mom, my dad, my older sister, my grandma, a few other parents, and five of the school's top administrators.

but you weren't there.

carrying a sense of disappointment in my heart, and performed well and with technique.

but the emotion wasn't there.

just like how you weren't there.