is it true? | jjk

열아홉

i remember having the time of my life with you.

yes, it was awkward at first, but with your outgoing personality, i slowly started to open up to you.

it felt like we were children all over again.

"so," i started, sitting down on a bench by the river. "how's it going with that girlfriend of yours?"

i saw your expression get dark, and immediately regretted asking. "we broke up last month." you whispered.

my eyes widened at the fact that you two had been together for so long.

"oh, i'm sorry to hear that." i apologized.

you shook your head. "it's okay."

pause.

i remember hating myself for asking a question that totally destroyed the mood.

"...caught her cheating on me."

i watched as you tried your best to hide back your tears. you fiddled with your fingers-- something you had always done when you tried not to cry.

"she had been cheating on me for almost half our relationship." you sighed.

"you don't have to keep explaining, jungkook--"

"i walked into her apartment to find her kissing my best friend." you interrupted, letting a few tears slip down your cheeks.

my heart broke at the sight of you being so broken-hearted. how was i supposed to feel knowing that the man i loved all these years was in pain?

...do i even have a chance with you, knowing how much you loved her?

i did what any friend would do.

i wrapped my arms around you, pulling you into my embrace. your head rested on my shoulder and i felt your tears wetting my sweater.

"you don't have to--"

i interrupted your protesting. "just, stop. let me be a friend, okay?"

i felt your small smile as you nuzzled your head into the crook of my neck and cried some more. you wrapped your arms around my waist, keeping me in place.

i rubbed your back, not sure of what to do. i took this moment to take note of your scent. minty yet fresh. your back was broad and muscular. i felt my cheeks heating up as you tightened your hold on me.

am i really doing this as just "a friend?"